I’m definitely going out of my comfort zone with this article because I am typically not one to write about relationships, but this is something I have questioned since high school, and college has only increased my sense of wonder.

What has happened to dating in this generation?

I’m not saying I want life to be like the 1950’s where you meet your husband or wife at the age of 16. Because that wouldn’t have a positive outcome either. But when my parents were in college, life seemed more simple. If you were interested in another person you would ask them out on a date and get to know them face to face. Spending time with another person is how you figured out if you like them and want to take the next step of being in a relationship.

In our society today, sliding into a girls Instagram DM is treated as if it deserves some sort of trophy. Or even worse, the more guys or girls you are messaging, the cooler you look. I can’t count how many times my friends (or myself) have been confused by the intentions of a guy because the relationship just seems to be sitting in this imaginary gray area.

“He texts me every day but we haven’t hung out in days” or, “He told me he doesn’t want anything serious right now but he still wants to hang out (and hook up) all the time.” These are only a couple of examples that I’ve heard personally, and the list is definitely longer.

I think this all started with technology because thanks to smartphones, we can find the “perfect match” through an App in the matter minutes. This throws all true forms of communication with someone out the window. Our generation communicates from behind a screen and some don’t even see the purpose of communicating face to face. Others don’t even know how to do that in the first place. Technology gives people an easy way out. You can communicate with multiple partners and nobody ever has to know.

It’s a generation of hookups with no real commitment. Relationships today are like a new pair of shoes. You wear them around for a little bit, but as soon as the new wears off, all is forgotten. I don’t know if it’s because we are afraid of getting hurt by someone else, or if it’s because people are afraid something better will come along and we don’t want to miss out on that.

Not everyone goes about dating in this way. To those that don’t, keep doing what you are doing. But to those that do, something needs to change. Because in a society full of cheating, lying, and carelessness we are only really cheating ourselves.