If you're past the age of 15, you've probably dated someone in some kind of way. By this, I mean at this young of an age your parents are still driving you place to place, you get a little bit older and somehow our generation came up with "talking" to someone as a way of dating before actually dating them. And then there is actually dating someone. Everyone dates differently, some are the same and some go through stages of trying to figure out who they want to date.
Most likely this is going to be an unpopular opinion, but I think it was so much simpler to date in high school than it is in college. In high school, you most likely you dated someone you knew for a long time or someone you went to school with and saw every single day of your life. Because how better to date someone than to see them literally every single day? Right? Probably wrong.
I saw so many more arguments and fights with couples, including my own relationships in high school than at any other time. If we weren't in class, we were in the lunch room, or we were going to basketball games or on dates on the weekends. We were just constantly spending time together. There was nothing wrong with that, but it wasn't necessarily healthy.
Something about high school dating felt easier. You got to see whoever it was and you were forced to see these people all of the time and you could develop feelings for someone around you. In the small high school I went to, it was very easy to grow closer to one another very quickly. Conversations we easy and you had those friends in high school and you had connections around.
Dating in college seems so much more difficult, especially if you move away from your hometown. If you don't know anyone, the only way to get to know people is to put yourself out there. It isn't like high school anymore where you were forced to be with one another 8 hours a day, 5 days a week.
You are going to fall in love. People are going to leave without reasoning. Hearts will be broken. Tears will fall. This is life. Things change. We don't always know why or see it coming, but it happens. The most important thing to remember is that the ones to stick around are the ones that are going to be there for the long haul and they truly mean what they say. You deserve someone who isn't going to give up on you.
After talking to a few friends that are in college with me, the majority felt the same way I do. One said, much like me, she dated earlier as well and had her first serious relationships in high school, too. They weren't all about sex. but rather than love and adventures as they should be. They said college is the complete opposite and it seems impossible to even attempt relationships because guys she had met as a freshman had already been having sex with multiple girls.
She also said something I couldn't agree more with, that if you don't come to college in a relationship she didn't see it possible creating one until after college. In high school, everyone already knows one another and their families but now it's hard to learn to trust people you don't know anything about.
I personally can't say it isn't possible to not find a serious relationship in college, but I have closed myself off since my breakup last year and now with only three semesters in college left, I don't think I will open up to anyone because of my past.
Another one of my friends has a completely different outlook. He said dating in high school is like a playdate. You have to plan everything out and always check with your parents and others to make sure your plans follow through. You never had the full freedom of anything. You had curfews, rules, and no privacy. Dating in college is actually dating. You have money to take one another out and have time to do so.
You don't have rules to follow and when you have your own place you can make plans on your own terms. It is so much easier and you get to meet more people, not just from your hometown. This being a completely different perspective to me, I also can agree with this. I think dating in high school could be difficult at times because of the things like curfews and rules could make it more difficult, but you did already know the background and family of the person as said previously so that made it easier.
There were others that have clearly just had bad experiences because their responses were "JUST DON'T." Which I found hilarious, but also for some people it is true but it wasn't for me. If it wasn't for the experiences I went through in my relationships I wouldn't be who I am or learn for my future relationships.
I also have another insight because I know that a lot of people go back and forth with this. I am all about second and third chances IF it is for the right reasons. When you love someone, you love someone. I'm a firm believer in when people love each other, no matter how long it's been if it is meant to be, it will be. People sometimes need to break up in order to see that they really need to be with one another. It may take a week, a month, a year or even five years, but one way or another they will figure it out.
High school and college are not easy to get through in general. Throw a relationship into the mix and it becomes just that more challenging. Either way you chose, there is no wrong time to date. Everyone has an opinion on it and even some parents will put a time limit on their kids on when they can begin dating.
The lessons I have learned are so important to learn at any age, but I'm so thankful I learned them at 15 and 16 instead of in my 20's. I'm hoping it will save me from less heartbreak than needed in the future with dating and finding my future husband. As for everyone else, take your time. Date when you are ready. Don't have sex just because everyone else is and don't let anyone pressure you into doing it.
Everything needs to be on your terms and your terms only. Dating is something to be cherished and hopefully taken seriously. Some people date casually, others date seriously for marriage. It's your choice. Chose it wisely.
