Dating In Your 20s Is So Difficult | The Odyssey Online
Start writing a post
Swoon

Trying To Date In Your 20s Without Being Ghosted Or Screwed Over Is Nearly Impossible

You really can't win.

149
Trying To Date In Your 20s Without Being Ghosted Or Screwed Over Is Nearly Impossible

Those of us who fall in the late millennial/cusp/gen z population know that dating at our age is way too stressful. It seems that you're never really with someone. If you're not just hooking up, you're either hanging out, talking, THEN dating, then...and this is rare...it's official, you've got yourself a relationship. Why does it have to be this way, though? I think we can all agree that this is a ridiculous way to go about getting yourself a significant other.

Some may argue that the problem lies with social media and dating apps. We are so obsessed with ourselves and how others perceive us, that we are afraid of being authentic. If you post the person you've been seeing too soon, you're too obsessed. If you don't post that person, you're either hiding them or embarrassed to be with them. You really can't win. We don't want to seem clingy, or too attached, so we don't let our guard down and tell people how we really feel about them.

We've created such a shallow culture that when we finally find someone who genuinely likes you and isn't afraid to say it, we run the other way. Then that person is labeled as a clinger, and the cycle of treating others poorly repeats.

The hookup culture is flourishing now that we have apps like Tinder and Bumble. You can literally find someone to hook up within minutes. There isn't anything wrong with this per se, however, it makes it hard to meet people in real life. We've become so used to meeting people online, that when someone approaches us in real life, we think it's creepy. Also, for those who aren't content with just hooking up, it's hard to find a relationship.

Back to the whole "stages of dating." The frustration is more common among my female group of friends rather than my male friends. You meet someone, and you're vibing really well, things are going great, so you go on a few more dates. Except they aren't considered dates..you're just hanging out. This whole time you think this is going somewhere, you may even hook up in the process, and then you either find out he's been doing the same with other people, or he didn't want anything other than whatever that was. Here's the best part of the whole thing, if you get mad about it, you're crazy!

Another issue I have is ghosting. Personally, I've been in a few situations where I would have liked to ghost, but I can't bring myself to do that to a person.

Not everyone has that issue, though, and it happens all the time. Again, it's more common for men to do it than women, probably because we're afraid of being murdered if we turn someone down, but whatever.

Even if you're just hooking up with someone, you could get ghosted. Like, you're both having a great time with no strings attached, and then one day you just don't get a response to your "wyd" text. No matter the context of your... situation... ghosting still sucks.

I guess what I'm trying to say here is, be honest with your feelings and what you want out of the time you are spending with a person. You should also be honest with yourself, if you want a relationship, and the person you like just wants to hook up, it's probably best to just cut it off while you're ahead. If you just want to "hang out" call it what it is... a friendship.

No matter your situation, make sure to use protection and give/receive proper consent so we can keep our problematic dating culture safe!

Report this Content
Lifestyle

The Great Christmas Movie Debate

"A Christmas Story" is the star on top of the tree.

1219
The Great Christmas Movie Debate
Mental Floss

One staple of the Christmas season is sitting around the television watching a Christmas movie with family and friends. But of the seemingly hundreds of movies, which one is the star on the tree? Some share stories of Santa to children ("Santa Claus Is Coming to Town"), others want to spread the Christmas joy to adults ("It's a Wonderful Life"), and a select few are made to get laughs ("Elf"). All good movies, but merely ornaments on the Christmas tree of the best movies. What tops the tree is a movie that bridges the gap between these three movies, and makes it a great watch for anyone who chooses to watch it. Enter the timeless Christmas classic, "A Christmas Story." Created in 1983, this movie holds the tradition of capturing both young and old eyes for 24 straight hours on its Christmas Day marathon. It gets the most coverage out of all holiday movies, but the sheer amount of times it's on television does not make it the greatest. Why is it,
then? A Christmas Story does not try to tell the tale of a Christmas miracle or use Christmas magic to move the story. What it does do though is tell the real story of Christmas. It is relatable and brings out the unmatched excitement of children on Christmas in everyone who watches. Every one becomes a child again when they watch "A Christmas Story."

Keep Reading...Show less
student thinking about finals in library
StableDiffusion

As this semester wraps up, students can’t help but be stressed about finals. After all, our GPAs depends on these grades! What student isn’t worrying about their finals right now? It’s “goodbye social life, hello library” time from now until the end of finals week.

1. Finals are weeks away, I’m sure I’ll be ready for them when they come.

Keep Reading...Show less
Christmas tree
Librarian Lavender

It's the most wonderful time of the year! Christmas is one of my personal favorite holidays because of the Christmas traditions my family upholds generation after generation. After talking to a few of my friends at college, I realized that a lot of them don't really have "Christmas traditions" in their family, and I want to help change that. Here's a list of Christmas traditions that my family does, and anyone can incorporate into their family as well!

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

The 5 Phases Of Finals

May the odds be ever in your favor.

2242
Does anybody know how to study
Gurl.com

It’s here; that time of year when college students turn into preschoolers again. We cry for our mothers, eat everything in sight, and whine when we don’t get our way. It’s finals, the dreaded time of the semester when we all realize we should have been paying attention in class instead of literally doing anything else but that. Everyone has to take them, and yes, unfortunately, they are inevitable. But just because they are here and inevitable does not mean they’re peaches and cream and full of rainbows. Surviving them is a must, and the following five phases are a reality for all majors from business to art, nursing to history.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

How To Prepare For The Library: Finals Edition

10 ways to prepare for finals week—beginning with getting to the library.

3444
How To Prepare For The Library: Finals Edition
Photo by Clay Banks on Unsplash

It’s that time of year again when college students live at the library all week, cramming for tests that they should have started studying for last month. Preparing to spend all day at the library takes much consideration and planning. Use these tips to help get you through the week while spending an excessive amount of time in a building that no one wants to be in.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments