I am chronically ill. My chronic illness involves both physical and mental symptoms, and at times it is very difficult to cope with. It takes a special kind of person to make me comfortable, showing who I am and how I suffer, so I have decided to make this list not only for therapeutic reasons, but perhaps to help others gain some insight on people like me.
10. I am not obliged nor are you entitled to know the details of my sufferings.
I personally would prefer you know everything pertaining to my chronic illness, but I would like you to know these things are very personal for me, and if I have shared them with you that means I deeply trust you, and I only ask that you try to understand how much that means to me.
9. I have very little energy most of the time.
A lot of people with chronic illness, whether it be of physical or mental nature, are drained most of the time. Please understand that sometimes I really will not want to do anything but be with you. Sometimes I may not even want to be with you because I am either uncomfortable with my current state or I am literally too sick to see you. Be patient with me, I will give you my all, all of the time, but sometimes my all is very little.
8. Know how to recognize when I am getting uncomfortable or over-exerting myself so you can help me get out of the situation that is causing me trouble.
More often than not, I will push myself to exhaustion because I feel embarrassed that I am too tired to do something. Sometimes I need someone to be able to pull me out of that and say, "It's okay you're tired, let's go sit down/go home/get out of this environment for a little bit."
7. I need a lot of encouragement.
Going with the previous point, I don't want you to coddle me. I don't want you to act like I am made of glass and could shatter at any moment. However, there will be times when I feel like I am made of glass and could shatter at any moment. In which case, I will need to be reminded how far I've come and how I can make it through something. But I also need you to be familiar with my limits so that you can help me when I am about to reach them.
6. Try your best to be understanding.
I go through a lot on a daily basis. But a lot of the time, so does my family, having to drive me around to various doctor appointments and get prescriptions refilled. So, sometimes I feel like big burden/bother to others, and probably especially to you. So when I feel like this, please don't reprimand me, but remind me that I am not so.
5. I want you to be a part of my getting better.
Being me requires a lot of doctors appointments and spending time in bed feeling really crummy. I am not asking you to go with me to every appointment, but I would like you to go to a few with me so that you can better understand me (not to mention keep me company in those horrible waiting rooms).
4. I will relapse, and just have generally awful days.
The previous point is a little iffy, seeing as I will never fully recover from my diseases, but I will have some really bad days. Sometimes even whole weeks. Weeks that involve sleepless nights with pain and tears, or unbearable nerves. During these times I need you to stay with me, maybe even stay up with me, because it is those days, nights and weeks that I feel the loneliest.
3. I will have really good days.
Sometimes you'd swear I never felt pain in my life. Somedays I can go without an anxiety attack. Rejoice with me in those days, and treasure those days, because for me they really are not the norm.
2. The simplest of things make me feel better.
I am a woman who treasures simple joys. You picked a dandelion for me outside? You bought me mozzarella sticks from Sheetz? When I wasn't feeling well you sat through a movie you don't particularly like? Thank you, I appreciate every little thing you do for me. Trust me, it will not go unnoticed.
1. I am a human being.
I have flaws and I have struggles, just like any other human being. Some days will be great, other days, not so great. Some days I will be weak, but that does not mean I am not unfathomably strong.
