I love it when straight people tell me how difficult it is dating in a small town. When straight girls tell me “all the good ones are either gay or taken” I can actually feel my soul leave my body, and ascend to another plane of existence. Yes Ashley, tell me about why you can’t date Todd, because he’s your best friend’s ex-boyfriend. And although I agree Todd is a cargo pants wearing treasure, you don’t know my gay struggles.

For starters, dating pools for straight people are usually contained within city limits. Gay dating pools, on the other hand, cross several county lines. You see, a couple of months ago, I matched with a girl on Her, which is the gay girl version of Tinder. She was from a city that is an hour north of me, and for a straight person, that’s a not a new dating pool – it’s a new ocean. For my gay ass, however, an hour away might as well be down the street. Long story short, after talking to her for a couple weeks, I see my ex on her snapchat story.

Another issue straight people don’t have to worry about is figuring out if their romantic prospects are in fact straight. For example, I have had a crush on this girl since middle school. Now, I’m trying to feel her out, and see if she’s not straight. I’m not even trying to date her right now, I’m just trying to know so I can decide if I want to. I guess I could just be really forward and ask her, but this is Oklahoma. Asking people if they’re gay is like a box of chocolates – you never know what you’re gonna get.

Now I will say there are a few things straight people and gay people have in common when it comes to dating. Ashley – it is really hard dating someone that hasn’t been in love with my best friend. I feel you, girl. I will not date someone who has ever had a crush on my best friend, who is the town’s most notable gay. I should note that 93% of my local gay community has had feelings for my best friend at one point in their life, and even 15% of the straight community. Seldom do I find someone who meets this simple criteria.

So what do I do, you ask? Well, internet stranger, I outsource my girlfriends. And you might think that’s sad, but many gay girls have to do this. We resort to long distance relationships, and although that can result in cute “Meeting for the First Time” YouTube videos, it’s also the literal worst.

For all of these reasons, I love when straight people tell me how difficult it is dating in a small town.