In relationships, there's often a few gray areas that everyone runs into; no matter how hard you try to avoid it. Sometimes they don't even come during the relationship. They happen once the relationship is over.
I'm sure we've all had that one break up that ends with the infamous line, "I hope we can still be friends."
We all think to ourselves "There's no way this will work. It'll be too awkward. I still have feelings for him/her."
Yet somehow, we still finding ourselves saying yes because we're not ready to let go of a big piece of our lives.
I held a poll on Instagram asking my followers if they thought being friends with an ex was possible. The outcome was close with 20 people saying yes and 15 saying no.
I got to the nitty gritty with some of them. I accumulated 18 responses on the topic.
Let the debate begin.
1. Best friends = no go
"It's understandable if you're in the same friend group, but I don't know if you can ever be BFFs with an ex." -Juliana
2. One and done
"I tried (to be friends with my ex) and it failed miserably. Didn't actually get to the trying part. One friendly phone call and that was that." - Sydnee
3. It felt like nothing changed?
"My ex and I are trying that right now. He came up and visited me, and we were basically acting as though we were dating." -Nori
4. Feelings never fade
"It depends on how the breakup ended. I want to be friends with my ex, but the feelings just literally never go away." -Sharon
5. Weird state of fluctuation
"We (my ex and I) have the same mentality that once somebody has been THAT big a part of your life, it just doesn't feel right to have them completely gone, so we decided to try and be friends, but the feelings never go away. Now, we're in some weird state of fluctuating between completely platonic and weirdly platonic." -Caroline
6. Always end up bitter
"I can never do it. I always end up still bitter." -Erin
7. Better as friends
"I absolutely think it's possible! Sometimes, you just work better as friends. Most of my exes have been better to me as friends than any of my other friends. The friendship can truly work if both people put in the effort to put the pettiness aside and move forward as adults." -Raegan
8. No leftover feelings
"It only works, in my opinion, if the feelings are gone because if they're not, they can hold you back." -Kylie
9. New relationship tension
"I don't think it's possible. My ex and I were best friends before we dated. We talked about any and everything during the relationship, and it continued after the breakup. When I got into a new relationship, my ex felt like my new relationship would replace what we had. That's when he started saying nasty things toward me." -Mikayla
10. There's hope
"Me and my ex broke up. It was hard, but we stayed friends which I am thankful for. If we hadn't stayed friends, we wouldn't be back together and moving in together. Sometimes, it's just meant to be." -Briana
11. It takes time
"I'm pals with one of my exes. It took a over a year for it to become a friendship, though." -Tally
12. Doesn't have to be bad
"Not every relationship has to end on bad terms, so I think you can still be friends." -Lauren
13. Need time to heal
"I say no because most of the time, you just need to let yourself heal and move on." -Kayde
14. Differing opinions
"Sometimes, your ex wants nothing to do with you even though you still want to stay in contact." Alexis
15. Feelings linger
"Feelings can still be in play, so I think no." -Chance
16. It really depends
"It depends on how deep the relationship was and the terms the relationship was left on. I do think time away is best, though." -Bhakti
17. Rising and falling action
"The build up and aftermath determine the outcome." Trey
18. Wanting only the best
"If you really care for each other and are mature about the breakup, you just want to see the other grow. When you only want the best for them, being friends is totally possible." -Alek
The answers are all over the board, but it's a gray area. There's no true right or wrong or best answer. In my opinion, it depends on what works best for you and the other person involved.
At the end of the day, though, you have to do what's going to protect your heart, even it means doing something you don't or are reluctant to do.
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