Dating in college is a tricky thing to navigate no matter where you are. However, there are challenges and blessings that are unique to small campuses. As someone who hasn’t dated anyone from my school, I have had quite a bit of experience watching other relationships form, fall apart, or never make it that far. Here are the pros and cons to dating when you are attending a small school.
Pros
1. It’s a small world.
You will probably bump into the person you’re interested in a lot. Face it, there aren’t that many buildings on campus. When you see the same group of people every day it’s easier to meet someone that you’ll be interested in. Maybe your future spouse is that person you see in the fitness center or the library every day. This really is the only pro. Oh well. Onto the cons.
Cons
1. Everyone knows everything
Literally. If someone breaks up, everyone will know in a week. If a guy asks a girl out, most of their friends will know before the date even happens. People who don’t even know them personally will probably know too. Their professors might know. Safe to assume that there are no secrets when it comes to who’s dating who.
2. Everything gets blown out of proportion
One conversation between two people and suddenly everyone’s asking if they are dating. Friends are telling them “you’d be so cute together!” They think it’s a great idea, and maybe they even have a few things in common with that person. Meanwhile said friends have assumed that the relationship is a foregone conclusion. Maybe it is, maybe it isn’t. But all the pressure definitely doesn’t help things at all.
3. The dreaded “talking” phase (that never means anything).
At the same time, there’s a lot of “talking” that goes nowhere. A snap streak seventy days long might not mean anything more than face value. Texting sometimes doesn’t mean that much but all of that person’s friends will tell them that it does. Nothing will come out of it, man. Don’t believe the hype.
3. People break up and still run into each other.
Remember how it was cool how much you saw your significant other while you were dating? Well, it seems like once two people are broken up they run into each other just as much if not more. If you break up at a small college you might as well transfer out if you’re expecting it to be totally normal. Things will be awkward. They will be weird. And you’ll wish you went to a bigger school.
4. The pool is very small.
You know that saying “there are other fish in the sea”? Well that’s not so accurate when dating at a small school. The people who share the same beliefs and interests aren’t that many, and the ones who’d be interested in dating each other is probably even smaller. It’s like a Venn diagram and the place where all the circles overlap contains about two people. You might have better luck on Tinder. Then again, maybe not.
In closing, dating at a small school is fraught with challenges. If you make it past the “talking” stage and the first few dates you’ve made it farther than most. It takes dedication, patience and intentionality. However if you really work at it, you might get that “ring by spring” that everyone at a small Baptist university seems to be looking for. (I’m sorry that was so savage).
