After living in New York for a of couple months I decided to download Bumble. I wanted to see what all my new girl friends were raving about. Being a self declared Tinder expert I was slightly skeptical. After setting up a complete profile I was ready to check out some hotties.
How many Bumble dates have I gone on so far? None. Are there more hot guys on Bumble than on Tinder? Yeah for sure. Are any of these hot guys decent guys? None that I’ve come across.
There is this impression that people looking for something more serious, use Bumble. Tinder is just for hookups, and Bumble is for relationships. Contrary to popular belief, I haven't found this ideology very prominent in the app.
I’ve come across a few too many guys who still find it acceptable to invite me over at 2am rather than on an real date. Yet at the same time, there seems to be a hurdle I can’t get over with the app. Sure, it’s fun to browse and get a match, but there’s something holding me back from pulling the trigger and actually meeting with any of these guys.
Maybe it is because I keep thinking any second the guy of my dreams will be sitting next to me at the bar, or in front of me in line at Starbucks. And if I preoccupy myself with someone on an app in my phone, I could miss an opportunity. An opportunity to actually meet someone and right off the bat know how I feel about that person. I'd know their voice, their style, their charm, their energy. All things you can’t tell in 6 photos or less. Living in the moment is still too exciting to try to prearrange a relationship with someone.
If I'm looking down at my phone I won't notice the guy at the bar or the guy in Starbucks. So aren't I just limiting myself from seeing what is right in front of me?
I was talking to this really hot 27 year old guy on Bumble. We matched during the week of Thanksgiving. After inconveniently messaging back and forth in the app for a couple days, we exchanged phone numbers. Our conversations flowed easily and naturally. Then Thanksgiving weekend was over, and the chatting quickly dwindled. So what went wrong?
Perhaps we were never really interested in each other, it was just someone to talk to while bogged down with family obligations for a solid week and now it’s back to reality. If I really wanted to pursue him I could have, but I just didn’t care enough. Now I'm back out on the town rather than trapped at home with the family.
It’s so much more fun to have interest in someone after meeting them in person, in real life, not through your phone.
There’s no question in my mind that I am going to have dinner with the guy I briefly met at the club Friday night. But why? It’s as if I don’t see Bumble guys as real people. But what makes the guy from the club so much more of a real person in my mind? Sure dating apps can help you find what you are looking for, and yes, I've had multiple successful relationships start from a dating app, but I think too many people are on these apps now and it's becoming more impossible to find what you are looking for, whatever that may be.
It's now easier to bump into your dream guy in the soda aisle at Duane Reade than swiping through hundreds of photos of personal trainers, realtors, and guys who love to brunch. Sure two years ago dating apps were great, but I think we are quickly growing out of it, but hey, thanks for playing.
