About a week ago, as a freshly minted 20-year-old, I decided to test-drive a few dating apps.
I did some research before downloading anything in order to determine the best fit for me. I settled on Bumble and, later, OKCupid. I could go into the differences between the apps, but instead, I want to share the similarities. Unlike some people, I usually read the bio before swiping.
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There are 10 things I have consistently seen in guys' bios.
1. "The Office" References
While some guys simply declare their love for the show, others go as far as to say they are looking for a Pam to their Jim. I've never even seen the show, but I still understand the reference. That's how prevalent the show is in pop culture. Two quotes from "The Office" that appear a lot are: "I'm not superstitious, but I'm a little 'stitious'," and "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take." The show has never appealed to me, but it obviously does to plenty of other people.
2. 420 friendly
In case you're innocent and naive or have been living under a rock, I'll explain what 420 means. It used to be a police code for marijuana smoking in progress and has now become synonymous with weed. Since I mostly see guys from Oklahoma, it's no surprise that this comes up a lot. With the recent state legalization of "medical" marijuana, people are more comfortable admitting that they support weed, or even smoke it themselves.
3. Quotes
Some guys' bios consist solely of quotes attesting to their likeability. They are either from friends and family or newspapers and magazines. The latter are clearly fabricated, but I suppose their friends could have agreed to talk them up. Quotes can also come from anonymous people the guy has allegedly talked to before on the app. The most common quote is: "I'm so glad she swiped right." -My mom
4. Snapchat
Some guys can't be bothered to write a decent bio or check the app regularly, so they just put their Snapchat username and tell you to add them if you want to talk. If you can't think of anything interesting about yourself to put in your bio, why would you have anything interesting to say on Snapchat? Besides, what's wrong with the app's built-in messaging system? Are you afraid you won't be able to get away with things you could on Snapchat? *swipes left*
5. Dogs
"Dog daddy" and "looking for a dog mom" are common in bios for dog owners. Don't get me wrong, I love dogs! But I'm not going to swipe right just because you have one. If I wanted a dog, I would go to a shelter, not a dating app. That being said, it's hard to resist a guy holding a dog.
6. Height
I don't know what it is with guys and size, but most of them feel the need to say how tall they are. Most of the guys who list their height are either bragging about being tall (6'4") or admitting to being short (5'6"). I'm not the kind of girl who cares a lot about height. I would obviously prefer someone who isn't shorter than me, but I'm not super impressed by tall guys, either. Congrats, it's going to be really awkward to hug me!
7. HMU
This is a common acronym, which stands for "hit me up." It's a slang way of asking someone to message you. Sometimes it is the only thing in a guy's bio, and sometimes it follows a decent description of himself. Regardless, I'm hardly interested in someone who feels so insecure about asking a girl to message them that they have to disguise it with a slang acronym.
8. Good time, not a long time
"I'm here for a good time, not a long time."
To me, this is an immediate indicator to swipe left! It's a song lyric, but that's not important. It's basically a less douchey way to say you're only looking for a hook-up. I may not know how long my next relationship will last, but I'm not going to assume off-the-bat it's going to be short but sweet. This seems like proof of a commitment issue on that guy's part.
9. Place to place
Guys who aren't native Oklahomans sometimes like to say where they're from by naming that city or state and then putting an arrow or airplane emoji between that and their current city or state. Some examples would be:
Dallas, TX ➡️Norman, OK
North Carolina ✈️Oklahoma
I think this is nice because you may be familiar with where they're from or curious about it. It can make a good conversation starter.
10. "Not my kid" or "That's my sister"
Guys are quick to defend anything in their pictures that may be a turn-off. Two possibilities are pictures of them with exes, or with their kid(s). When you're around my age, you're usually not looking to get into a relationship with someone who already has a kid. And I don't think anyone wants someone who's still hung up on their ex. That's why when guys have confusing pictures, they clarify that it's "not my kid" or "just my sister."
These ten things are go-to's for a lot of guys, which isn't always a bad thing, but it doesn't show a lot of creativity either. I would be much more interested if guys would trade in the cliches for something genuine. Tell me about yourself, not your dog. Tell me about your hobbies, not your Snapchat. Tell me something more interesting than your height. Then maybe I'll swipe right.
