Being with someone for years in a long term relationship can be tough once things have ended. Both of you will move on at your own pace some sooner than others. After dating someone for so long its almost like your learning how to date all over again. Learning how to flirt, what to say, how to trust again. It's going to be scary but put yourself out there.
Put yourself in the dating world and see whats out there. You're going to come across people who screw you over, and you're going to end up messing things up a time or two also. It sucks, but everything has a rhyme and reason for happening and you just have to be strong in it. You have to learn that some guys are playing games, and that some truly do care and you can't doubt them right away. You learn that letting your guard down so easily lets down in heartbreak because you end up getting attached after you know you shouldn't.
These are all the things that are going to happen to you, but thats just how dating is. It's terrifying, emotional, and tough. But when you do find someone that you truly care about it makes it all worth it. So yes trying to date after a long-term relationship is tough, especially if in that relationship you had trust issues, is not going to be a walk in the park.
So to the person like me who is trying to date again follow these rules.
1. Do it on your own terms, if you want to date right away go ahead. If you want to wait thats okay too.
2. Give everyone a chance to prove themselves, don't doubt them right away.
3. Don't carry any issues from past relationships into a new one. Like trust issues, fear of being ghosted, etc. This will just create problems right off the bat.
4. Don't be too hard on yourself if you mess it up with someone you really liked. All you can do is own up to your mistake and hope that you two can work it out, and if it doesn't take it as a lesson learned.
5. Don't be too hard on yourself if you get attached to someone and realize they ended up not feeling the same way. Don't feel dumb. It happens to everyone. Seriously.
At the end of the day dating is scary, theres always the fear of getting hurt, but theres also the fear of the what ifs. No one is perfect, and no relationship is perfect. Relationships aren't easy. We all end up putting our foot in our mouth and upsetting our partner sometimes. We all end up wasting our time on someone we know we shouldn't of. And we all end up having that one person we regret not giving a chance too. So put yourself out there on your own terms and give it a chance, because you truly never know what your missing out on in life if you don't try it.
