The closet door creaks open.
A ball rolls out.
So do the whispers.
She picks up the ball, glances at the towering closet door, and begins to walks towards the closet. Dad credits her resonating laughs around the house to the "imaginary friend" who keeps her company when she's sad or lonely. She trusts and cares for her friend by leaps and bounds, accommodating spaces for them in her drawings and at the dinner table.
One day, her friend invites her to the rooftop. With their hands clutched, she leaps. But instead of falling into the friend's abysmal home, she falls into Dad's arms.
Dad carries her into the house, raging with fury at all the warnings she didn't pay heed to. A trail of broken kitchenware surrounds the seat reserved for her friend. She claims her friend is angry too.
She tries to reason, explains Dad is important to her, how much she needs him, and that she won't abandon him. The house begins to shake. The whispers traverse the walls and set the curtains on fire.
She's afraid, but her voice remains soft. She comforts her friend, recounting all the reasons she adores them. The fire extinguishes. She offers the ball. The house stops shaking.
Dad understands this is beyond his comprehension. He attempts to take her out the front door, only to have every exit close on him. She follows the rolling ball. Dad can't get through the vent. As she tosses the ball over, Dad watches the glimmer from her eyes fade.
She's hurting now and wants back. But they have her. They call themselves Narcissists.
As someone who has been in familial, romantic, and platonic relationships with narcissists and is a horror film enthusiast, I can confirm these relationships were synonymous with a real-life horror film. We all know how horror films end — sometimes you make it, sometimes you don't. Either way, nothing remains the same and it makes for one hell of a story.
As a kid, I believed spirits wished to help and ghosts desired to hurt. Based on my observation and experience, I've come to realize that there are two kinds of narcissists — the "Spirit" and the "Ghost". The "Spirit" might or might not be tormented, but has an inflated sense of self because of the nurturing they received. The Ghost is extremely tormented (despite or because of their nurturing) and has an inflated ego to make up for their insecurities, lack of self-love, and need for control.
The family background of a "Spirit" constitutes a healthy one where they were loved deeply and given numerous positive affirmations regularly. As a result, love of any sort for them is synonymous with self-love.
The fundamental definition of a narcissist is someone who loves themselves more than they could possibly love someone else, someone who has an exaggerated sense of importance.
That's not to say they cannot love and don't pay heed to advice. In fact, they do find true love and live fully based on navigating life with a balance of their intuition and external feedback. So, the narcissists of the "Spirit" form are well-intentioned.
They will not manipulate and make demands to hurt you. They simply love themselves more than anything but are capable of loving others as much as they love themselves. They are whole. Inspiring even.
When adversity strikes, they become better, not bitter. In fact, trauma brings out their gentle self, such that they heal, but not at the cost of others' sanity. Most of my closest friends fall into this category and as much as we joke around about their narcissistic tendencies, they have the power to let nothing faze them while simultaneously lifting others up.
They are compassionate, extremely confident, and empathetic. Like a spirit, they are approachable, will seem intimidating to the rest of the world who doesn't know them, are not lifeless, are more of wandering Souls, and will most likely guide you to safety, to home. These are the ones who make sure the kid doesn't die at the end of the horror movie and attempt to save the kid.
Then there are the ones that fall under "Ghost". I like to think of the "Ghost" as lost, tortured "Spirits". They want to be like the "Spirit" and most likely began as one, but cannot be.
The "Ghost" represents that definition where a narcissist is a predator who feeds on attention, life, love, and emotional response employs manipulation to establish control and will suck you dry of energy till you're hollow.
These are the ones who either came from an abusive family background and became bitter and mistrustful of everyone around them and so, can be heard preaching and ranting about the same.
Or they came from a functional family but encountered another "Ghost" who caused so much pain and hysteria, they became like them.
Such an instance would be being in love with a narcissist who sees you as nothing but a source of supply for attention, love, intimacy, and ego but convinces you to be the center of their world and so, messes with your mental space only to leave you for another source and re-enter your life when the other sources have been exhausted.
Basically caring for a figure who should have made you feel loved, wanted, and important, but ensured you felt the exact opposite and so, distorted reality so much for you, you lost all sense of self and worth.
Instead of inflicting pain on oneself to cope with it, "Ghost" inflicts it on others. And thus, the mania manifests. Trauma reveals a Ghost's true self since they make it out bitter, not better.
Being inept at coping with adversity, they heal at the cost of someone else's sanity. So, like a ghost, they prey on the innocent, can seem harmless until they charm and reel you in, trick you into believing their false self (the image they have of themselves which reflects their God complex) is their real self by victimizing themselves, slowly unravel their real self and the minute you detect this version of them, they try everything in their power to maintain you as a source for their ego like hurting you. Just like the ghosts in Poltergeist who would not rest until the kid was dead.
I've been attached to some "Ghosts" in the last few years and if there's anything you should know is that trying to have a mature conversation with and walking out of that conversation with your sanity intact with such beings is impossible. They are most certainly not human, lack empathy, and are horrifying on the inside yet manage to pass themselves off as incredibly charming.
As much as I pity their state, the best anyone can do is to simply not engage (cut them off, supply neutral responses, treat your relationship with them as a neutral event, etc.) and let them find another source to feed on. Don't even try to convince anyone of their reality (including them) because no matter what you do, they will either deflect or dismiss and you'll be seen as the boy crying wolf.
You can't help those who don't even know they need help.
