I never thought that at the age of 38 that I would be dating again. No one really plans for this. Dating life for a 38-year-old single mother is not easy at all. Most guys run when they hear "single mom," let alone two kids who are almost grown. That makes me feel so old, wow, almost grown. Living where I live in Salina, the pool of single, eligible, nice grown men is very mediocre.

Okay, so maybe there are a few guys that would date an amazing woman like me, but when you add on that I have two kids, the pool gets smaller. Add on that my kids have special needs and the dating pool gets even smaller. Here comes the kicker, add on that I’m living with a chronic illness and poof the dating pool is gone.

I can see a guy saying, "Okay, you have kids. At our age who doesn’t?" or, "Okay, so maybe your kids need more attention. That’s okay." What I cannot see is a man saying all of that and then saying, "Oh, you can’t get out of bed today because you are in pain. I understand." No, they would never say that.

On a side note, I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia 14 years ago. This causes me to be in a lot of pain and to be tired a lot. I also have chronic fatigue syndrome. This causes me to be so tired that I cannot function. Then 5 years ago, I was diagnosed with psoriatic arthritis. This effects not just the skin but all my joints, nerves, and muscles. This causes extreme pain most of the time. I have to inject myself with a medicine every week just to try and help keep the symptoms at bay. So far, it has not been a pleasant experience at all. Everything hurts, but I am trying every day to do my best.

Believe me, I have tried the internet dating thing. I even was in a relationship for a while with a guy. He did not understand, of course. It is so hard to explain to anyone that today you just cannot get out of bed because your body is so tired that you cannot move. Maybe you cannot get out of bed because you are in so much pain that all you want is to curl up and sleep, that is if you could.

Living with a chronic illness effects so many parts of my life. I cannot do everything with my kids that I want. I do not date because I cannot find someone that is willing to date me with all my “baggage." I never in a million years thought that dating would be this hard. Then again, I have my kids and that’s really all I need. It would still be nice to have someone to go out with and talk to though.