The year is 2016: dating in this generation has become nearly impossible.

Dating begins by friend requests on Facebook, direct messages through Twitter, acknowledging pictures on Instagram, and Snapchat streaks. Dating is picking someone up for dinner, but waiting in your parked car while texting them to meet you outside. Dating is not texting back fast enough, and worrying that they have other people more important than you. Dating is a kiss on the first date and increased physical contact by the third. Dating is meeting The Parents weeks after becoming a “thing.” Dating is staying with someone for the sake of having a partner. Dating is using smartphone applications to meet new singles in your area, hoping that they want more than just a hook-up. Dating is “talking” to someone until one of you makes it official. Dating is afraid of commitment. Dating doesn’t know how to trust. Dating doesn’t ask you how your day was. Dating doesn’t plan dates or inquire about when it will see you next. Dating is oblivious, lazy, and full of shallow apologies. Dating is calling someone your boyfriend or girlfriend, but feeling utterly and undeniably alone.

This generation of young men and women have complicated the way of dating; it has become a chore instead of an experience. This generation is full of nonactive behavior, insecurities, and mental illnesses – all of which make it very hard for people to commit to one another.

It is safe to say that the dating scene today has changed drastically over the years. Dating is no longer milkshakes at your local diner, meeting each other at the front door, receiving flowers, or asking one another if you’d like to “go steady.” Dating no longer follows traditional standards – it simply happens casually until one partner takes it upon his or herself to seal the deal.

So, why is this? Why does this generation have such a difficult time committing to each other?

The answer is simple: we have been taught that it is easier to trust ourselves than it is to commit to another.

Humans cheat because they are unsatisfied, they tell lies to convince others that they’re not at fault, they engage in manipulative behavior, and they pretend to be happy when they are not. Men and women are often guilty of being untrustworthy and unstable – both mentally and emotionally.

Now, this is simply not the case for everyone. There are plenty of happy, successful couples who are strong enough to build a healthy foundation between one another. However, healthy relationships are none of my concern and quite frankly, they don’t need to be. My goal is to examine and relay different emotions and behaviors regarding why dating is so difficult nowadays. Human behavior changes slowly but surely over time, and this observation deserves more than what words can answer.

My concern is the waste of time, the waste of thought, and the simple waste of love that young men and women are faced with today. We are guilty of forcing relationships and lying to ourselves, all at the expense of having a significant other. We are guilty of selling ourselves short of what we are actually worth. We are guilty of giving our love to people who are not strong enough to love us back.

Love has become foe, not friend. Love is not a knock on your door asking if you are okay. Love is quietly screaming into your pillow as warm tears seep into the soft cotton. Love is “I like you, but…” Love is taking it slow until they decide that they don’t wish to take it any further. Love is having your heart broken at seventeen. Love is crying in the lap of your best friend as they brush their hand over your hair and over your worries. Love is writing an eight-page letter about your love and your sorrows, and delivering it for closure and undetermined peace. Love is feeling your heart twist in the cavity of your chest at the sound of their voice. Love is closing your eyes when they turn your way. Love is writing poetry about a chance you’ll never have. Love is being reminded of them as you encounter all their favorite things. Love is not nice. Love challenges your thoughts and wrenches your heart. Love is hard to come by.

Dating is not the biggest priority in a young adult’s life; however, how will we ever reach a destination of commitment if we don’t even know where to begin?

The year is 2016: we are lost, we are afraid, and we do not know how to love.