Vanishing Acts AKA Ghosting: They’re the guys you think you’re going to have a second (or first, or third, or whatever) date with, you think you have chemistry, you think all the nice things they’re saying are true…

Then they just disappear. Poof.

Every woman who’s ever dated in her life has probably encountered at least one Vanishing Act in one form or another. It happens more often than that in New York, probably because there are so many people living in the city—a good guy might have several options to consider. He might have amazing chemistry with Girl One, but wonder what might happen with Girl Two. So he vanishes on Girl One and moves on to Girl Two, until Girl Three comes along. It’s a dizzying cycle.

Here is an example of one of my many Vanishing Acts. I would love to hear from you about one of your Vanishing Acts. Please comment about someone who went Houdini on you!

Harley

Harley is probably the worst kind of Vanishing Act: The kind that vanishes in the middle of what seems to be a developing relationship. Or at least a developing something. I met him on How About We and we had two fantastic dates. At least I thought they were fantastic. Maybe I should have paid a little bit more attention to the fact that, on the second date, he’d forgotten everything I told him about myself on the first. He didn’t remember what I did for a living, or where I lived. We were having so much fun, I didn’t think much of it. Maybe he just had a bad memory.

On the other hand, maybe he was getting me mixed up with the seventeen other dates he had between our first and our second.

Anyway, we made out, went out to dinner, held hands, went to a fancy private speakeasy—it was a great, fun evening. He went out of town for a few days, but we stayed in touch via text (how did we ever date before technology?). He kept telling me how much he was looking forward to seeing me when he got back to NYC.

I’m still waiting for that third date.

Maybe he just never came home?