The year is 2016, and boy has this country has changed a lot. Black lives matter and women are outnumbering men in universities . Yet, we might have Donald Trump as our next president, so how far have we really come? However, today we're not discussing that. I'm focusing more on dating perceptions. We're the Drake generation, hearts devoured by trust issues. The generation where it was more normal to see a single parent household. Seeing the heartbreak first hand has scared half of us, and actually experiencing it tainted the rest. We've made ourselves immune to heartbreak, by choosing not to be in relationships. No label, no expectations, no disappointments. We casually date and call it talking. and As much as I hate to admit it.... When it comes to dating men definitely have the advantage.

Men set the bar women must reach to receive a title. Dating is a game, the label is the prize, and your perception is your skill at playing this game. These men are not meeting our standards, but we're not really forcing them to either. Instead, we focus on pleasing them. There are two types of women in this world, I refer to them as Rihanna(s) and Beyonce(s). Rihanna represents the free-spirited, independent, "bad girl" in control of her mind and body. While Beyonce is the presentation perfect "good girl" excellent in every way. Our persona is what men judge us on and they treat us according to that. Don't get it twisted just because someone has a bad girl persona doesn't mean she's a hoe. Nor does it mean a seemingly good girl is just as innocent as a baby lamb. This is perception. And you can control it.

Men are great at this! They've mastered controlling their personalities perfectly into adulthood. Why wouldn't they? Boys are taught not to be emotional at a very young age. Repeatedly being told to "toughen up" or "men don't cry" forces them to hold back from reacting to thoughts and feelings, that girls are allowed to express. Unfair, but not uncommon. Charlemagne the God often says "No one cares about the truth if the lie is more entertaining". The same thing goes for people and their persona. Think about it! People are obsessed with reality television, fascinated by the "real" lives of people a production crew toys with.

Here's an example. A guy is dating two girls. One is Beyonce the other is Rihanna, he enjoys being in the company of both women, both have plus and minuses. Our guy is relationship ready and deciding between the two women. Let's say he's hmm...24 fresh out of school, first-degree required entry level job, attractive, tall, not visually crazy, and has a decent personality,a strong 8 and his name is Jake. Jake wants someone who will fit into his lifestyle, the girl he started creating in his head after his first heartbreak. Ever listen to a scared man rant about who/what his next girl will be like? "My girl can't..." or "My girl has to do..." Men have high expectations that women everywhere have fallen victim to at least once in life by her mid-20s. Although Jake is dating both Beyonce and Rihanna. He will not commit to Rihanna. Let me tell you why.

Men think women like Rihanna are crazy. When honestly we're just free women not concerned about how the world views us. Completely comfortable with ourselves, which men admire, but don't fully trust. They question our direction in life and wonder about our level of promiscuity. Jake choices Beyoncé, because she doesn't need guidance. He sees where she's going and knows who she really is. She's well rounded, good enough at everything he needs and wants to receive from his woman. However, the importance of certain needs and wants vary upon people. Although Beyoncé is good at everything, Rihanna's great at the things he values most. Needs that he doesn't want his "girlfriend" to be good at, but great. And that's why his relationship with Beyoncé will end and he will return to Rihanna. She's great at what he needs, but sadly they will never be a couple because she's perceived as a bad girl.

Perception can hurt both parties when it comes to dating. People tend to focus too much on the perception of their partner instead of how the person makes them feel. Does this person really make you happy, or does he just have a good job and can buy you stuff? Do you love her personality, or do other people find her attractive, so you keep her around for physical reasons? Just because someone is not what is perceived by you to date, does not mean you shouldn't.

My advice, if you met someone you're into lock them down and keep it private. Don't tell the world about your relationship. This will only lead you to be influenced by the opinions of others. The two of you are the only ones in the relationship, and those are the only opinions that matter. Secondly "Don't Ask Don't Tell" don't ask questions about your partners past, because that was before you, it's not your business, and vice versa. Hold a little mystery to yourselves, don't start talking right away about your past to this new potential mate. There's a point in every relationship where your past will come up, but handle the conversation with class. Taking time to really date someone beyond the persona they show the world it is extremely important. Remember to date the person, not the persona. Perception is what you make it. Your partner's perception can change,so don't lose the one, because of something that is indefinite.