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Date My ROOMIE: The Perfect Girl You Have Been Waiting For

Although most of you have gone into the roommate situation blindly, I did not. I've known my roommate for the past two years, and I think that's long enough to give me the authority to take over her love life.

Jami Brady

Aug 28, 2020

Pennsylvania State University

953

Date My ROOMIE: The Perfect Girl You Have Been Waiting For

About Emily

Age: 18 years young
Height: 5'4
School: Penn State, University Park
Job: Dancing inside a Sesame Street Character
Location: State College, PA
Hometown: Bucks County, PA

Emily's Preferences:

Dogs or cats? DOGS
Night owl or morning person? Night Owl
"The Bachelor" or "Keeping Up With The Kardashians"? Keeping Up With The Kardashians (Kris is iconic)
Taylor Swift or Beyoncé? Queen B baby
Baby Yoda or Baby Groot? Baby Groot

Emily is on the right

Never has Emily ever met the Kidz Bop kids.

Yes, long story short, they were less than pleasant.

If there was one funny story from Emily's life that perfectly describes them as a person, it's this:

This story just happened today... Emily was walking down our dorm hall to wash out her mug from coffee earlier this morning. As she is standing at the sinks, one of the hot guys on our floor walks out in simply a towel and nothing else. Emily being the respectful girl she is, says nothing and continues to wash out her horrifying mug of Twisty the Clown from American Horror Story. If that doesn't tell you how respectable and tasteful she is, then I don't know what will.

Four qualities Emily is looking for in a partner and one she's absolutely NOT:

Honesty
Loyalty
Sense of Humor
Kind
Self Absorbed

Want to respectfully slide into Emily's DMs? They're open here:

Instagram: @emilykrajnikovich

Snapchat: emily_paige122

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Date My ROOMIE: The Perfect Girl You Have Been Waiting For

Although most of you have gone into the roommate situation blindly, I did not. I've known my roommate for the past two years, and I think that's long enough to give me the authority to take over her love life.

About Emily

Emily's Preferences:

Never has Emily ever met the Kidz Bop kids.

If there was one funny story from Emily's life that perfectly describes them as a person, it's this:

Four qualities Emily is looking for in a partner and one she's absolutely NOT:

Want to respectfully slide into Emily's DMs? They're open here:

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Because have you ever had to endure grilling your foot on a George Foreman?

1. When he just wanted bacon from his George Foreman grill

2. When he had money (and Jan) issues

3. When he got upstaged at Phyllis' wedding

4. When he unintentionally saved Meredith from rabies

5. When he wore a "bisexual" suit

6. When he had to apologize to Jesus

7. When his GPS drove him into a lake

8. When he had to deal with Ryan as his boss

9. When he couldn't fulfill his most generous empty promise

10. When this happened

11. When he struggled with a X-Mas break up

12. When he had to defend his generosity

13. When he threw a classy Christmas party for Holly but she had a boyfriend

14. When he had to stand up to peer pressure

15. When Toby was "Toby-ish"

This isn't just for the single Pringles out there either, folks

Run Around Clanging Pots and Pans in Everyone's Face

Eat the Last Few Pigs in a Blanket

Pop Twelve White Grapes

Burn Something

Smash Things Against a Wall

Spontaneously Begin an Irish Jig

Call Your Mother

Throw a Coffee Table Out a Window

Sing "Auld Lang Syne" at the Top of Your Lungs

Do Some Squats

Swan Dive into a Nearly Freezing Body of Water

Take a Shot

Time to be merry and bright.

"First Noel" by Leslie Odom, Jr

"A Holly Jolly Christmas" by Burl Ives

"Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" by Kelly Clarkson

"All I Want for Christmas Is You" by Mariah Carey

"Christmas (Baby Please Come Home" by Michael Buble

"Last Christmas" by Taylor Swift

"The Christmas Song" by Josh Groban

"White Christmas" by Idina Menzel

"O Holy Night" by David Archuleta

"Believe" by Josh Groban

"Les cloches du hameau" by Celine Dion

Or at least try to do.

1. I will wake up (sorta) on time for class.

2. I will look decent for class.

3. I will go to the gym more.

4. I will go to the library and study more.

5. I will meet new people.

For those long nights that turn into mornings when the struggle is real.

1. Walk in motivated and ready to rock

2. Disappointed you let it get this bad

3. Distracted: When a 10-Minute Break Becomes an Hour

4. When the Yearning for Sleep Sneaks Up

5. In the words of Lorelai Gilmore "Coffee, Coffee, Coffee"

Oh, so done.

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