Oh my darling daughter,
This is your mother, writing to you on July 24, 2016, from before she was ever married and before you were an inkling of a reality. Ah, how breathtaking you must look, my sweet girl, with your glowing eyes, luscious hair and radiant heart. I have some things to share with you that I figured couldn’t wait until you got here. I have no idea how old you’ll be as you read this, or if you’ll know what I mean as I try to explain some things to you. Bear with me, as I hadn’t met you yet at the time I wrote this to you, baby girl.
First and foremost, you are the most precious thing that has ever happened to me at this point in my life. I delight in knowing that you are a part of me and I am a part of you. I definitely don’t want you to be just like me (wouldn’t that be a bore… two Hannahs! Perhaps a tad overwhelming to the general population, I would venture to say.) Instead, I want you to develop in your own time into the remarkable young woman that you were crafted to be. Your beauty and your worth do not come from adorable grandmas that comment on your posts (do you even have social media nowadays?) nor are they found in what a boy whispers in your ear as you sit under the velvety night sky sprinkled with constellations galore. Who you are is not rooted in the body type you have, the styles of clothing you sport, nor the personality you share with the world around you. At a very deep and enchantingly lovely level, who you are is founded and seeded in your Redeemer. The words and songs and prayers he speaks, sings and prays over you are the most important pieces of your core. He speaks things like, “You are altogether beautiful, my love” (Song of Songs 4:7). He also tells you that your gentle and quiet spirit are stunning and that they represent your unfading beauty, (paraphrase from 1 Peter 3:4). In Ecclesiastes he says he makes everything beautiful in its time (chapter 3 verse 11). You are more precious than rubies and a tree of life for others to look to for support (Proverbs 3:15 and verse 18). My adorable daughter, you will never be truly alone, never be forsaken. Every step you take has already be written out for you, you have no need to worry.
Secondly, do not be overcome by the hardships of life; this world is temporary. Focus on enjoying every second of it. Don’t let others steal your joy, baby, for that character trait is in your DNA, trust me. When people at school mock you or put you down, look at them and tell them what you know to be true. Love yourself and love others. Even when they are not pleasant, kill them with kindness - it will go a long way and say a lot about you as well as the God you serve. If something is really worrying you, think about getting through it in increments of ten minutes. Look at the clock, time ten minutes, and tell yourself you are closer to the end of it than you were, say, ten minutes ago. It’s okay if there are characteristics about yourself or circumstances in your life that upset you or that you don’t particularly care for. Take a deep breath, talk to Jesus, thank him for the current situation you’re in and ask him what you can learn from it. Keep your head up, darling; you may be weak in life, but there is a God that is all the strength you need. It’s okay to be broken and to be sad. Know that joy and laughter will be just around the corner. Set your eyes on the things above, think about things that are pure and honorable, of good repute, true and admirable and lovely. Know that happiness is fleeting but joy is lasting.
Beautiful, I’ll also have you know that at some point, a guy may come and sweep you off your feet and you may think you’re supposed to marry him. And you might. However, keep in mind that you might not. Regardless, be sure to treat him with respect. Honor his decisions, gently and gracefully offer correction and suggestion. Communicate your feelings often, talk things through. If you don’t agree on something, take time to understand what he means - point blank ask him if need be. Pray for him often, help him in his walk with Jesus, point him to scripture. Remember that he is NOT your savior, so don’t expect unattainable things from him. Let him express himself, let him show you off, let him shower you with sweet kisses and words of encouragement. Keep him in line, and let him know that you respect yourself, and he needs to as well. Read the Bible together, share laughter and late nights with friends together, keep things light and refreshing. Be an example to others in your relationship. In terms of protecting your hearts and minds, think about this (it may sound a little bizarre, but I found this helpful.) - if your best friend were to be the gal that actually got to marry him, make sure that you’re able to say you treated him well and pursued your Lord through everything, even the mess-ups.
You will, unfortunately, not always get it right. You will hurt him, and likewise get hurt. Be quick to listen, quick to forgive, and quick to not hold a grudge. If you end up parting ways, know that it only gets better from here, and thank Jesus for all you both got to learn through it all. Pray for your future husband, and ask Jesus to help you chase harder after him, your Lord, than you would any man. Your sole (and soul) satisfaction is downloaded from your Heavenly Father, not a guy. If you never date someone, or even never marry, that doesn’t make you less of a woman or less valuable at all. Singleness and marriage are both things to be praised and there may be differing hardship and triumph, but at the end of the day, the wondrous person you are will shine and be a light to others whether there is a man in your life or not.
Your daddy and I love you so so very much. You are cherished, and we are proud of you. Be gracious with us as we raise you, for we are learning and changing just as much as you are. We will want to protect you at all costs, and that will always come from a place of love for you. Help us to see and be reminded when it's time for us to step back and to let you make some of your own decisions. We will all be adventuring in life together, and will need to be flexible and forgiving. I want to be one of your best friends, but I am your mama first, and I may have mama bear reflexes that kick in and will eventually clash with some of your own ideas. No matter what, know that you are treasured and delighted in so much, by both of us as well as your King.
Next, I want to encourage you to be a woman of your word and a woman of THE Word! Keep your promises, uplift others, and get your nose in the most important book of your life. Hide those words in your heart, think about them often, and share all that you know with others. Many people will meet Jesus personally because of your unique and honorable introduction. Remember that as you grow in your faith, struggles will come, with people, with finances, with school, with friends, with family, with God. Stand tall, and persevere. All of your trials are momentary in light of spending your eternity with your Jesus.
Have courage my girl, and know that your circumstances shape you but they do not define you. So no matter what you face, you always have an option. You are not boxed in, bogged down, too far, or too broken to experience the darling love of God. Sing out loud, dance in the rain, take lots of pictures, be silly, read tons of books, make up games, reach out to others and include them, smile big, dress up every once in awhile even when you just wanna wear shorts and a tee, tweeze those bushy Whitney eyebrows, explore new places, dream of countries you want to visit, ask for directions when you’re lost (it makes things go a lot easier when you’re not prideful about not knowing where you’re at), eat lots of ice cream, dye your hair once or twice, shed a few tears at a movie theater, do something that scares you, always choose a happy attitude over a sour one, take care of your pearly white teeth (aka brush a little more frequently than mommy does!) pick the college and degree YOU want, seek Jesus and know you are fabulous beyond compare.
That’s all for now, sweetheart. I hope this made you smile. I love you more than you’ll ever be able to comprehend.
With all my love,
Your Mama
