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Dairy Cows For Dummies

Basically all you really need to know.

Blake Fox

Jan 14, 2018

The Ohio State University

1118

Dairy Crest

Really, folks, dairy cows aren't that hard to understand. Of course, you know they make milk, but that's about all most people know. But what about all the different kinds of them? You don't have to be a dairy farmer to be informed. I myself am not a dairy farmer, but I do love cows. So let me break down the different dairy breeds for dummies.

Holstein's - The Public Image

This is the cow you're going to think of when you hear the words 'dairy cow.' They're known for their large size, being the biggest of the six common U.S. breeds, and their typically black and white distinctive markings.

Guernseys - Mooing Puppies

Really, they're like giant lap dogs I swear. This breed is known for their often gentle nature. Their milk tends to be high in protein and butterfat, giving it an almost gold-like color, which is why they're nicknamed they've adopted the moniker Golden Guernseys.

Jerseys - The Cute Girl Next Door

With their beautiful coloring and long eyelashes who wouldn't love these guys? They're the second most popular breed in the States behind the Holsteins. Known for their small size but exceptional and quality milk production, they're a favorite of producers and consumers alike.

Brown Swiss - Great Grandma Cow

I say this for a few different reasons. A.) they're thought to be the oldest dairy breed to date and B.) they're known to be relaxed, obedient and easy-going cows. Their coloring makes me think of greying hair and I just love their ears.

Ayrshires - The Mooing - Lisa Of Cows

A lot of people absolutely love the coloring of this breed, claiming them to be the most beautiful. Hailing from Scotland originally they can adapt well to rougher terrains than others. Their calves are known to be strong and easy to raise.

Milking Shorthorns - "That's a dairy cow?"

When people think Shorthorns they tend to think beef. They're actually two separate breeds, even though yes there are beef Shorthorns and Milking Shorthorns. Breeders love them for their versatility, I love them for their pretty coloring.

Well folks, there you are, dairy breeds aren't that hard. Hope you learned something!

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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Recommended for you

Dairy Cows For Dummies

Basically all you really need to know.

Holstein's - The Public Image

Guernseys - Mooing Puppies

Jerseys - The Cute Girl Next Door

Brown Swiss - Great Grandma Cow

Ayrshires - The Mooing - Lisa Of Cows

Milking Shorthorns - "That's a dairy cow?"

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"I'm hopeless and awkward and desperate for love"

1. That Time He Tested Out His Flirting Skills and This Happened

2. When He Was Willing to Do Anything to Avoid Confrontation

3. When He Couldn't Handle Awkward, Emotional Situations

4. How He Reacted Whenever His Friends Ignored Him

5. All of the Times He Worried About His Failing Love Life

6. Whenever He Tried to Whip Himself Into Shape

7. How He Handled New People and New Experiences

8. Whenever His Friends Got Annoying, He Was Always the Voice of Reason

9. He Always Knew How to Jam

10. He Finds a Way to Make Any Situation More Fun

No, I can't help you.

1. When a customer wants to return a product, hands you the receipt, where is printed "ALL SALES ARE FINAL" in all caps.

2. Just because you might be having a bad day, and you're in a crappy mood, doesn't make it okay for you to yell at me or be rude to me. I'm a person with feelings, just like you.

3. People refusing to be put on hold when a customer is standing right in front of you. Oh, how I wish I could just hang up on you!

4. Having the same conversations over and over again! To be honest I really don't even want to talk to you right now, or have this fake ass smile on my face!

5. Always having to have a smile on your face. I promise I'm not as happy as I may look!

6. Customers not understanding that sometimes, mistakes happen. I am a human being, we all mess up sometimes!

7. Having the boss from hell, it's their way or the highway! Even though I did my job correctly and efficiently, if I don't do it the exact way you do, I'm a piece of shit.

8. Having coworker who don't help out, who bend the rules just enough to screw you over.

9. Having to be at work after closing because a customer is taking forever and half! Not like I'd like to go home or anything!

10. Having shitty hours and more shifts than you asked for. Just because we don't have enough workers, doesn't mean I want to pick up every shift that you cant cover, oh great boss of mine!

11. Not having time for a social life. It gets old saying, "I can't I have work..." Every day of the week!

12. Having that lazy costumer who can't do anything for themselves... no please I'll get that, it's no problem at all!

It's just my face, I swear.

1. When you meet new people, they automatically assume you hate them or are rude.

2. People are constantly asking you if you're OK.

3. After being friends with someone for a while, they confess to you, "I thought you were so mean when I first met you," or, "I thought you hated me."

4. You get told to smile more, but they don't understand how scary that would be.

5. You're always labeled as seeming "judgy."

6. Passing a friend with your RBF in full force and not realizing you just shot them a death glare.

7. Being sarcastic, but everyone thinks you're outright rude.

8. Not knowing how mean you really look until you see a picture of yourself in resting face.

9. Your apologies never sound sincere because of your emotionless face.

10. Your "mad face" scares you.

11. And, lastly, people are constantly asking you if you are happy or having a good time because you look bored to death.

Please hold your blonde joke.

1. "Is Elle Woods your spirit animal?"

2. "Is that your natural hair color?"

3. "Oh wow, you get good grades at school?"

4. "You must really like the color pink!"

5. "You’re probably not into sports, right?"

6. "You must have such a bubbly personality."

7. "Your wardrobe must consist of all things preppy."

8. "What sorority are you in?"

9. "You were probably a cheerleader in high school."

10. "You look like you’re from L.A. because your hair is so light."

11. "You definitely like Pumpkin Spiced Lattes from Starbucks!"

12. "Do you actually think blondes have more fun?"

13. "You must encompass the typical “white girl” stereotype."

14. "Is that daddy’s credit card you’re using?"

15. "So all of your friends are blonde too?"

16. "I’m surprised about you; I thought you would be a lot ditsier."

The world's greatest university meets the world's greatest show.

1. When you get your acceptance letter

2. When you try to figure out how class enrollment works

3. When it’s move in day

4. When you arrive on campus and see all of the attractive people

5. FROG Week

6. When you find your squad

7. When you visit DHall (RIP) or EHall for the first time

8. When you take on way too many credits

9. When you go to your first party at JMU

10. When the rival school shows up for the homecoming game (or any game really)

11. Sunday Brunch

12. When you see the infamous “preacher” for the first time

13. The first snow day

14. Madipalooza

15. When finals week rolls around

16. When you have to say goodbye

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