I am a young woman with what the modern millennial or gen Z man would call "daddy issues." These men, or shall I say, boys, view women with daddy issues as women who range on a spectrum of extremes.
On one end, there are the girls who are incredibly independent and practically chase men away because they have grown into the idea that men are useless luxuries and they don't want one around for more than one thing (if you know what I'm sayin'). On the other end, are the women who "need" men. The ones who can't do anything without their man because he is the end-all, be-all of their existence.
Oftentimes boys and modern media will tell you these women turn out to be ugly, deep-voiced women in power or, to be quite frank, strippers. Men see these women as an easy 'lay' or a girl they don't need to hold a commitment to because they expect the worst from men anyway.
But, I hate to break it to you dudes but, women with "daddy issues," are so much more than your stupid stereotypes.
If you know me this will not be a shock to you, but I have raging "daddy issues." They are the result of mild childhood trauma that I will not disclose on the internet for privacy reasons. But, they exist.
They affect me in different areas of my life and I will admit that I sometimes fit the "daddy issue" stereotypes. I get emotional and most times I refuse to admit I need help from a man if I do.
What people don't know is that there are actually great things that have resulted from my "daddy issues," like the fact that...
I am independent.
I was not raised with a consistent father figure, therefore, I have grown up watching strong women take what they want and apologize for nothing. As a result, I go after what I want and I do it with very little help. If any at all. I don't see men as something I need. Just something I enjoy having.
I'm not too proud to ask for help.
I am adult enough to know that I can't do everything by myself. I am not afraid to ask someone for help when I need it because I know that there are just some things the men in my life can do better than I can.
I don't blame everything on my dad, or men in general.
Life can make you better or it can make you bitter. I am not going to let my issues with one person ruin men for me for the rest of my life. I have chosen to become better despite my problems and not blame everyone else for the things that go bad in life.
I am driven.
I know now that hard work is the only way to make good things happen in life. People who take pity on themselves and expect the world to serve them don't get anywhere. You have the power to change your own life. No one else can make it great.
I refuse to disappoint anyone.
I know what it's like to be disappointed repeatedly. I know the look in someone's eyes when they know they've disappointed you. It's a hard pill to swallow. I never want to make anyone in my life feel disappointed in me and my actions.
I pay attention to other people's feelings.
Having a blatant disregard for someone's feelings is awful and it reflects poorly on you. I know now that actions made affect the people around me. Not just myself.
I hold the men in my life accountable.
I will always make the men in my life be accountable for their actions. Just because I was disappointed by my father does not mean you get a free pass to slack off and disappoint me too. I have high standards and I am not helping you meet them.
I am stronger because of my past.
I might have "daddy issues" but they have taught me lessons that made me a stronger woman as a result. I know what it means to do things on my own. I know what it means to have to be strong for everyone else. But now is my time to be strong for myself.
Sure, there are times when I am one of the stereotypical girls with "daddy issues". I have bad days. I blame my dad for some of life's struggles. But most of the time I am so much more than an easily obtainable play toy.
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