To the father who was always absent,

I waited for you.

All these years, in the hope that someday you will miss me and come searching for me. So, I made myself easily available. Yes, if you had tried you would have found me and talked to me by now. But the truth is you never even tried.

Every time someone talks about a hilarious story concerning their dad, I am transported back to my childhood, when you were still around. But I never share my stories. After all, what will I reply once they tell me that your dad is funny and I would love to meet him? Because you are not there, are you? To meet my friends or boyfriends?

But it's not like you vanished only after you and Mom separated. No, you have never been there really for me, have you? I remember when I was small you never had time for me then too. You would be either busy watching cricket or getting wasted in alcohol. But, I didn't mind because at least you were still there, for occasional moments.

It has been 8 years now since we last met and you don't care anymore. After all, if you did care, you would have at least wished me on my birthdays right? Or tried to meet or call me?

I am all grown up now dad and I had to do it all alone. You weren't there for my first relationship or my first heartbreak. Fuck that, you weren't even present for my first college day or job. You have never been there when I needed you the most because even though I love Mom, there are only so many things I can spring upon her. I took after you Dad and it sucks that you were never there to guide me or love me.

Now, a part of me doesn't even believe in people anymore. I don't trust people to stay for long because if my own father couldn't be bothered to, then how would other guys be any different?

But, I had decided that this won't define me. I am working on my issues, issues that I have because you abandoned me. I have come a long way since the start and although there is still a lot of work left, I know I don't want to compare every person to you. So, I just want you to know that what you did was shitty. You should have never abandoned your only daughter and should have tried to keep in touch.

But most of all, I want you to know that after all this time, I still love you and miss you. Even if I can't say it out loud or tell you any more, I do. And I hope someday you will remember me again and try to find me. For once.

Till then, I will try to forget the pain and remember the happier moments.

Love,

Your always waiting daughter