Dear Dad,
It has always been hard for me watching my friends have such a close relationship with their dads. Even my friends whose parents are divorced still had their dad who would come around and is in the picture. I used to always wish that you would be there for me the same as my friends’ dads. Sometimes you would come around but I could never actually count on you to show up. I remember waiting for you when I was younger and being so disappointed when you never showed. I was lucky to get a card or call from you once a year. I spent many moments crying thinking it was my fault.
When I was younger, I used to ask myself, "What is wrong with me? Why doesn't my dad like me?" It took me a while to actually come to terms with the fact that it was not me; in fact, it was you. I think one of the hardest parts for me was you telling me you loved me and that you cared so much about me. That is not the case, though, because if you did, you would've been there when I needed you and you would have actually shown up. If you wanted to really be a part of my life you could have been, no one was stopping you.
I am very lucky to have a wonderful family who has always been there to support me and cheer me on my whole life. As a female, growing up without her “real” dad was tough. Sure, I had father figures, and I am beyond thankful for that. They were there to pick me up when you were not around. They were there to teach me how to ride a bike, how to defend myself, and so much more.
The part that is hardest for me is that I am your blood and you could care less about me. It's hard knowing that when I get married there is no one to walk me down the aisle. There is no one for the man I marry to ask for permission. There is not a grandfather figure for my future kids to look up to on my side of the family.
Here's the thing, though -- I am proud to be your daughter. I am honored when people say I look like you. Guess what, though -- I grew up just fine without you. I am smart, strong, passionate, beautiful, and determined. I grew into someone I am proud of all without you. The point is I don't need you in my life.
I used to be sad and upset about the situation more days than not, but now that is not the case nearly as much. I honestly do not think that part will ever completely change. Although, I am proud of myself and have made something of myself. I wouldn't be who I am today if it wasn't for the decision you made to not be a part of my life. You should be proud of who you created.
Love,
Your daughter
