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Dad Jokes 101

Dear Dad, these are for you.

Madison Geraghty

Nov 21, 2016

Nyack College

287

Google

I don't know about anyone else, but dad jokes definitely have to be my favorite type of humor no matter how lame they may be. You have to admit you've laughed at least once to your dad's, grandpa's, uncle's or cousin's lame jokes.

On a scale of ugggh to "ok, that was KIND OF funny," how lame are these dad jokes?

1. Dad I'm bored!

Oh, what kind of wood are you made out of?

2. What did Della wear?

Idaho? Alaska.

A New Jersey!

3. I was dating a girl named Loraine but I really like a girl named clearly.

Lorianne moved away and I sang, "I can see clearly now Lorianne is gone.

4. "I'm tired."

Dad: "oh, hi, nice to meet you tired, I'm Dad."

5. "Get a straw and suck it up."

6. Driving past a graveyard "People are dying to get in there."

7. "How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in it."

8. "What did the Buffalo say when his son left for college? Bison."

9. "Bought some Velcro today... It was a rip-off."

10. "Dad, it's cold."

Dad: "Go to the corner."

"But why?"

Dad: "Because it's 90 degrees."

11. Where do you get your haircut? On your head."

12. "If there are 10 birds on a wire and you shoot two...

How many are left? None. They all flew away."

13. "What time is it, dad?"

Dad: "Ten to."

"Ten to what?"

Dad: "Ten to your own business!"

14. Dad: "Knock, knock."

"Who's there?"

Dad: "Butcher."

"Butcher who?"

Dad: "Butcher arms around me honey, hold me tight!"

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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Dad Jokes 101

Dear Dad, these are for you.

1. Dad I'm bored!

Oh, what kind of wood are you made out of?

2. What did Della wear?

Idaho? Alaska.

A New Jersey!

3. I was dating a girl named Loraine but I really like a girl named clearly.

Lorianne moved away and I sang, "I can see clearly now Lorianne is gone.

4. "I'm tired."

Dad: "oh, hi, nice to meet you tired, I'm Dad."

5. "Get a straw and suck it up."

6. *Driving past a graveyard* "People are dying to get in there."

7. "How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in it."

8. "What did the Buffalo say when his son left for college? Bison."

9. "Bought some Velcro today... It was a rip-off."

10. "Dad, it's cold."

Dad: "Go to the corner."

"But why?"

Dad: "Because it's 90 degrees."

11. Where do you get your haircut? On your head."

12. "If there are 10 birds on a wire and you shoot two...

How many are left? None. They all flew away."

13. "What time is it, dad?"

Dad: "Ten to."

"Ten to what?"

Dad: "Ten to your own business!"

14. Dad: "Knock, knock."

"Who's there?"

Dad: "Butcher."

"Butcher who?"

Dad: "Butcher arms around me honey, hold me tight!"

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We don't buy into these... just like how we don't buy our friends.

8. "The whole philanthropy thing isn't real, right?"

7. "I don't need to buy my friends."

6. "Oh, so I'll bet you love to drink."

5. "Can you tell me some of your secrets?"

4. "What do you do at your meetings?"

3. "Do you guys haze really badly?"

2. "Is it just like in the movies?"

1. "Sororities are so basic."

There are plenty of obstacles that come when taking care of kids, but it's a very rewarding experience.

1. You get excited when the parents purchase season passes to the pool.

2. You've become friends with the stay-at-home moms in town.

3. You get a chance to eat "kid foods" again.

4. You've traded in your cute purse for a large tote bag.

5. You have at least one car seat in your backseat.

6. Their nap time is your happy time.

7. Lunch time can be a disaster.

8. You have to play the same board games repeatedly.

9. You catch yourself using the same lines your parents once told you.

10. Your "mom-mode" kicks in at times.

11. Your heart melts a little when they do something cute.

You'll never find any souvenirs with your name on it

1. You know you are up next when the teacher pauses while taking attendance

2. When “I’m going to do my very best to make sure I know all your names” is said, it may or may be an empty promise

3. “Wow! That sounds so cool! Where is your family from?”

4. You dread when people ask you to repeat your name over and over because it “sounds so cool when you say it”

5. There’s a 50/50 chance that your name will come back either correct or incorrect at Starbucks

6. People try to find shorter, easier nicknames for you instead of calling you by your actual name

7. When someone famous or fictional character shares your name, you get so happy

8. “What’s your name?” “It’s [name]” “I’m sorry, what was it again?”

9. You’ve pretty much seen every misspelling and heard every mispronunciation of your name throughout your life

10. When you find another person with an “ethnic” sounding name, you both get excited

11. Despite the struggles, your name is pretty unique… just like you

Can I be excused for the rest of my life?

Don't Be That Person

1. “Oh, so you/your family are immigrants!”

2. “Is Puerto Rico near Mexico?”

3. “Do you speak Puerto Rican?”

4. “You look too light/dark to be Puerto Rican.”

5. “Do I need my passport to go to Puerto Rico?”

6. “Geez, you are obsessed with your flag. We get it, you’re Puerto Rican.”

7. “Why are you so loud?”

8. “So does your family know English?”

9. “Oh my god, Puerto Ricans are so spicy.”

10. “So did you eat a lot of tacos?”

11. “Are you Mexican?”

6. Driving past a graveyard "People are dying to get in there."

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