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Signs you grew up Czech-American...

Jak se Maš Bohunky

Austin Sappington

Oct 23, 2018

401

1. Your Probably from Texas or the Midwest

Most Czech Americans settled in smaller towns across the plains of Texas and the Midwest. A little known fact is that Texas has one of the largest concentrations of Czechs outside of Czech Republic

2. Your family is picky when it comes to beer

Lets just face it our ancestors started making the best beer in the world centuries ago, so naturally we're gonna be picky when it comes to our beer. Pilsners come from the Czech town of Plzen, and Budweiser is named after the Czech town of Ceské Budejovice

3. You probably eat homemade Kolaches (Kolač) multiple times per year

These pastries have taken Texas and the Midwest by storm, but let's face it no one makes them better than your Grandma

4. Speaking of Kolaches, you KNOW this is NOT a Kolache!!

It's a Klobasniky get it right goddam it! Kolaches are always wing pastries with sweet filling

5. Instead of dinner rolls you have Knedliky

Your Grandma has probably forced you to eat a lot of these...

6. You know that Kapanka (Chicken and Dumpling Soup) is the perfect hangover cure

7. You bring out the Kroj for Czech festivals a few times a year

For a country so small, the Czech Republic has so many regional varieties of folk costumes .

8. You have a bottle of Slivovice in your house made back in the old country (or your family makes it themselves)

Nazdravi!

9. Your family makes their own homemade sausage.. or you buy it at your local Czech store

10. You have a relative, or know someone that plays in a polka band

11. You know the words to at least one polka song, because your grandparents always play them

"Juli juli juli li já te mám rada"

12. Your school song is derived from a polka song

13. You know some interesting curses from your family

"Jdi do haizlu" - Go to the shitter "Go to Hell"

"Do prdele"- Into an ass "Fuck"time

"žera nečky" - Idek what this one translates too but it's wierd

14. You cringe every time someone thinks the Czech Republic is Chechnya.

15. Your kitchen is probably full of these during the summer

It's pickling season!

16. Christmas isn't the same without Vanočka

17. Your family paints their own Easter Eggs.

Well maybe they aren't this fancy, but you guys get the point

18. Your family complains you don't work as hard as they did back in the old days

19. And in general your family complains A LOT!

While this isn't exclusive to Czech families, but Czech's complain all the time

20.Your family is quiet in formal in public or when they have guests, but at home they are crazy and loud

This is a stereotype applying just about to all ethnicities, but the difference with us we are only loud when around family or close friends

21. The kitchen always smells like cabbage

22. You've tested positive on a drug test because of Makové (popyseed) Buchta

"I haven't done any opium, I swear I just ate a poopyseed pastry"

23. Your family smiles and laughs at random things

" Uncle Franks what are you laughing at?" Idkkk"

24. Instead of daycare growing up you had your grandparents

25. You grew up watching hockey

26.Your Grandpa calls you at 7 AM to wake you up and make sure you are ready for work

27. Your Grandma is worried she is going to die before you get married

28. Your family is not known for their sense of style

Meanwhile you dress to impress

29. You feel that the Czech president Miloš Zeman, fits all the Czech stereotypes

A drunk old politically incorrect man.... sounds like the typical Bohemian to me

30.You're proud of being Czech, and wouldn't trade it for anything

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Signs you grew up Czech-American...

Jak se Maš Bohunky

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Or at least try to do.

1. I will wake up (sorta) on time for class.

2. I will look decent for class.

3. I will go to the gym more.

4. I will go to the library and study more.

5. I will meet new people.

For those long nights that turn into mornings when the struggle is real.

1. Walk in motivated and ready to rock

2. Disappointed you let it get this bad

3. Distracted: When a 10-Minute Break Becomes an Hour

4. When the Yearning for Sleep Sneaks Up

5. In the words of Lorelai Gilmore "Coffee, Coffee, Coffee"

Oh, so done.

You need sleep, but also have 13 things due in the span of 4 days.

1. When it's December 1 and you have seven things due, three exams, and haven't slept in three days.

2. So you stress.

3. And cry.

4. Then call your mom to cry some more.

5. After the pep talk, you feel determined to get everything done.

6. But, now you're tired.

7. And really hungry.

8. Suddenly, it's 2 a.m. and you have only written three sentences and your paper is due in the morning.

9. You've made it to Friday... somehow.

10. Then Sunday hits and you find yourself back at the Lib.

11. So you cry some more.

12. But, you fight through the tears to get everything done because you're determined.

13. In the end, you feel on top of the world because you made it through the last week of class alive.

14. But, now it's finals week so good luck.

The ultimate list and gif guide to a college student's brain during finals.

What does the world outside the library look like?

Can I read this entire book tonight?

I should have gone to class more often.

Did the professor even teach this?

What is the lowest grade I can get on this exam and still pass the class?

Should I just drop out of school now?

Finals are ruining Christmas.

Just wrote three sentences so time for a break.

Need. More. Coffee.

What is sleep?

I'm too stupid for college.

Brain hurts.

Time for a Facebook Break.

I think I'm dying.

When will I ever need this information in the real world?

I can't read any of my notes.

I need my mom.

When was the last time I showered?

I need study snacks.

The struggle is so real right now.

"I want to thank Google, Wikipedia, and whoever else invented copy and paste. Thank you."

1. I'm so tired. I need a nap. Maybe I can sleep with my eyes open in class? Or pretend I'm not napping?

2. We have a test today? Why didn't anyone tell me? Did I know this?!

3. Can I quit school yet? It's only October, and I need a vacation.

4. The struggle is so real.

5. I'm so broke. SOS.

6. Stressed? Eat everything you own in your pantry and stuff your face with all your feelings.

7. "Did we have anything due in class today? Homework? Quiz? Test?" "Not that I know of..."

8. I need food. Where is the closest place to get food? I need it stat.

9. This is the longest day of my life. I need a drink, or two, or three.

10. Sleep? What is sleep? What a foreign concept.

11. When someone suggests going and studying in the library, let alone studying in general.

12. When the cafeteria or student center is packed and you can't find a seat anywhere so you literally have to sit in an abandoned corner.

13. When you see someone you used to hook up with. They see you, and approach you; so you have to pretend like everything is normal.

14. When you get your exam and realize you didn't study as much as you should have.

15. When you crush it on an exam or paper that you totally bullshitted.

16. I need a grande, extra strong coffee to get me through today.

17. When the professor announces you have a project due the following week with no instruction on what it's on and how to do it.

18. Is it Friday yet? Where's the weekend when you need it most?

19. It's freezing in here. I feel like I'm sitting in an igloo. I should have brought a jacket or worn long pants.

20. Did I remember my book? Damn, I forgot the book, and of course I need it for that quiz in class.

21. I would pay a million dollars to not go to class today; or actually never again.

22. I need a hoverboard to ride to class. Maybe then I wouldn't be running 15 minutes late to class every day.

23. Oh she/he's cute! I wonder if they're single. Who are they texting? They're BF/GF? I wonder if they think I'm cute. Could they be a potential new bae?

24. Why is there never any parking? I pay thousands of dollars a year for one parking spot to be open.

25. When it feels like you've been in class for an hour and you look at your phone and it has only been five minutes (I'm crying on the inside).

26. When the professor asks if there are any more questions at the end of class and someone raises their hand.

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