How many times have we seen this happen? A tragedy caused by someone or something that takes then life of many, including children?

We suffer, we mourn the lost, pay our respects, and then move on.

And then it happens again, and the cycle repeats itself.

There’s that little glimmer of hope that comes after everything, though. It’s a tiny thing, and if there’s one thing I learned about life, it’s that a small glimmer can make all the difference, all we have to do is care enough and act on that glimmer. The problem is that I’m starting not to care anymore.

Originally I believed that I was just being my young, college-aged self, naïve of the true ramifications of everything that happened. But then things kept happening, and we kept on mourning and moving on, like on repeat. I remember waiting in line to get a cup of coffee when I heard about a shooting at a school, and all I said was “Again?” as if a shooting of innocent people was a regular thing to do.

There’s something about the ugliness of the world, where, when you look at it long enough, you become used to it. It’s really sad when you think of it. All the horrible things in this world, and the possibility to become enraged, and yet it passes you by like a car racing down the road.

I honestly wish I felt more horrified after the events that just happened in France, but the truth is that I half expected another thing like that would happen. I’m not a psychic, and I can’t predict the future, but I can honestly say that another event would happen again. And I feel utterly horrible for feeling that way.

I’m feeling selfish writing this down because I’m making it about me, when in reality it should be about the poor souls that were lost that day. We should remember the lives that were lost that day, and hope that something better can be had in the future. I say and do that, and yet it’s all still part of that lethargic cycle of expectations.

Nothing good comes from that cycle, because in the end all that’s left to do is wait for the next something else to happen, only to mourn and move on, again and again.

It’s a circle that never seems to stop, and yet there’s always that glimmer that maybe, just maybe, something better will happen.

And so we wait.