We always hear the cyber bullying stories from the bully's point of view as well as the bystanders and friends of the victim. But no one gets the entire story. It's the victim who suffers the most and has all the details of how they were bullied.
How do I know all this?
Because I was a victim of cyber bullying. And let me just say one thing: It was one of the most terrifying events I ever dealt with in my entire life. Even when there was a cyber bullying presentation during when I was working at orientation as an orientation leader, I broke down in tears because I could not hold back the fact that I, too, was a cyber bullying victim.
Here's my story on how I was cyber bullied. (Disclaimer: Name of bully will not be revealed)
It all started in late October of last year. The sun was bright and beautiful fall weather surrounded my campus. It was the annual Oktoberfest event sponsored by my school. Someone who works at my school decided to take a photo of me and one of my friends who I was with at the time. In excitement, I decided to repost the photo on Instagram with a new caption of my own (Fact: It was an Oktoberfest pun). What I didn't know was that there was someone in the background who would later be my worst enemy.
Hours after the event, I was on my way to another on-campus event. However I had to deal with someone along the way. The girl who was in the background of my photo approached me and she asked me to remove the photo that I posted hours prior to our sudden meeting. Apparently, she saw the photo even though my account was private and she didn't follow me. She said that "she didn't look good in the photo." But here's the thing: I did not, repeat, did not, put the girl in a bad light. In fact, I didn't even know she was in the background. I told her I'd think about deleting the photo and walked away.
But what I did next started the biggest war between me and this girl. Instead of deleting the photo (because I got 72 likes on the photo, something I haven't achieved on Instagram in a while at that time), I blocked the girl on all social media because A. she bothered me a lot and B. I was hoping she wouldn't notice what I did. She noticed, and she decided to stalk all my social media profiles just to make sure I deleted the photo.
A few days later I had just came back from class and I was with my friends talking about the campus-wide Halloween party that was happening that night. All of a sudden, in the middle of the whole lounge full of students, the girl confronted me with force and started to yell at me. She called me a coward and started calling me names regarding my looks and weight. She also said that "I would never be as pretty as her." I stood up for myself and screamed "Look here b****!! I am more beautiful than you will ever be!" She then charged at me but one of my friends broke up the fight and the girl left. Another girl comforted me and sweetly asked me to remove the photo to prevent further problems. I did just that and moved on with my life and so did she. I was glad to never speak with her or see her ever again.
Or so I thought.
Several months had passed and the weather got much colder. I always posted on "Throwback Thursday" (#tbt) and one Thursday in February I could not find a photo to post. I decided to post the photo from the Oktoberfest event that I removed on that dreadful October day. I started to get a lot of likes and I felt that everything was going my way once again.
But that was not the case sadly.
Later that night I was at dinner with my friends and I was on my way to get food, not knowing the girl would be there at the same time as me. Somehow, a friend of hers noticed the photo and decided to tell her that I posted the photo again. She got angry, as usual. She pushed me against the pasta bar and said "So, you decided not to listen to me. You did this to yourself b****. And now you're gonna get it." I tried to defend myself and explain my reasoning behind reposting the photo but she didn't wanna hear it. She broke out her iPhone and started to film me on Snapchat. She [again] called me names regarding my weight and started calling me a dumb*** and a fat***. She posted it all over Snapchat and even wanted to post all over social media (she never did). She even threatened to expose and embarrass me if I didn't delete the photo. The next day, while I was waiting for my doctor's appointment, I was in tears because all I got was hurtful messages.
I was helpless, hurt and felt like I couldn't go on. However, I wasn't going to let one person destroy my life. With my friends' help, I reported her to those in charge of Student Life, Human Resources and Residence Life. I finally took control. She can't even be within inches of me because of a restraining order that the school issued.
I will always be a victim, but I did come out stronger and I could not be happier with how my life is now that she is out of my life.
Yes, I am a victim, but like I said, I did come out stronger. And so can those who were cyber bullied like myself. And I hope that my experience from being cyber bullied can inspire those to spread awareness.
My message is this: Do not take to the Internet to insult somebody. If you are being cyber bullied or if you see somebody being cyber bullied, report it ASAP, because protecting someone from even more hurt can save their lives from potential suicide and several kinds of harm.
Use positive energy towards others online. Threats and insults are nothing to mess with. Once a post is out there, it's out there forever. Because it only takes one post to hurt and ruin a life. Only post what is acceptable and discuss the consequences that follows cyber bullying. And even though I didn't say anything bad about this girl, she happened to take it that way.
If we can create more positive posts and stop the bullies from harming innocent lives and prevent suicide and harm, we can delete cyber bullying for good!
