The internet is one of the most controversial topics in the world. People can find solace in the internet, in social media or gaming sites, as well as chat rooms and online multiplayer games, however, for the past five plus years, cyberbullying, especially on social media, has been one of the most talked about issue by parents, teachers and even politicians. Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and Snapchat have all been the majority of the sites where cyber bullying has occurred. You can go to seminars and talk until you're blue in the face about how to prevent it from happening, but you will never know what it's like to be bullied until you are and how it affects your entire life.
When I was in eighth grade, I was the epitome of the ugly duckling. I had braces and glasses, frizzy hair that I rarely brushed, was overweight and unhappy. I had major surgery in seventh grade on my left eye, reattaching my retina from an accident involving my brother and a quarter when I was in fourth grade. Three major eye surgeries, two hospitals and three months laying flat on my back with both eyes closed. I couldn't walk, move or even sit up. I wasn't allowed to open my eyes, for if I moved my right eye, my left eye would follow, therefore impeding the healing process. I gained between 60-80 pounds from this experience, all within a three month span. Going from an athletic, somewhat slender girl, to an overweight, stretch mark covered, four-eyes, my confidence disappeared. I was no longer the girl I was. The year before, I had switched schools, coming from a private school that I attended since practically birth, to a public school in my town, where I only knew a handful of girls from little league. I was still trying to reinvent myself, and being absent from school for three months and coming back looking like a troll didn't help. What also didn't help was that Facebook was coming into it's prime. And with Facebook came the mean girls.
There was a group of girls in my grade. Think of them as the Six Chicks from "13 Going on 30." They were a clique and to my eyes, totally fun and awesome, and they were the girls I thought I could be friends with. Boy was I wrong. When I came to the new school at the end of sixth grade, I was just getting my bearings. I had one girl convince me to put a green dot on my finger (from a magic marker) and then tell me that meant I was a part of the "We Hate Annie Club," formed because my idea for a poster for a project was voted over hers. She was kind of part of the "Six Chicks" clique and it crushed me. I had grown up with my old classmates and while they could be jerks, they were still my siblings in a way. These girls were catty and mean, but I didn't realize how much more catty and mean they could become.
At the end of eighth grade, the entire grade is treated to the day at the local water park. Water slides, big pool, the beach and ocean right there, as well as a restaurant, mini golf and exercise equipment. This trip is like the last hurrah, the "you survived middle school" reward. I was excited for this trip because I am secretly a mermaid. I am more at home by the beach than I am in my own house. I have sand and saltwater in my blood. I went on this trip in the bathing suit I had before I gained the weight from the surgery, a black two piece that I thought I could rock. Turns out, I couldn't—according to the "Six Chicks" clique. Because Facebook was coming into it's prime, every student had an account, myself included. None of us were really educated in the whole social media world, on what was okay to say or post. I was following the trend, and I thought I was doing it right. While we were at the waterpark, the leader of the clique (we'll call her Charlotte*), followed me for a majority of the trip taking hideously unflattering photos of me. She posted them on the internet and all over Facebook. I was devastated and completely shattered. I was thinking how this could be an awesome trip, with some great people and I got betrayed.
As time goes by, we finish eighth grade and go into high school. The next attack I remember vividly is being on the late bus, and Charlotte is on it as well with her clique. I sat behind them, just reading my book and listening to my music. Eventually, she tapped my head and giggled, while showing me a picture on her phone, asking if that was me. Turns out, she and her gang downloaded on of my ill-advised selfies from Facebook and had sent it around to everyone in her contacts to be made fun of. I was horrified and cried as soon as I got off the bus. I wasn't sure how anyone could be that mean. I spoke to my mom, and while she was concerned, no one really knew how to address it. No one did, because it wasn't becoming a thing yet.
In tenth grade, my best friend and I made a video of us dancing to a song and laughing our heads off. Two days later, Charlotte and her clique made a same exact video, same song, same moves, even mocking what I had said in the video. Not only was I confused on why she was doing this, but how she got entertainment from it. No one should get their happiness on destroying others. Charlotte also had a thing for "liking" my statuses and every single photo that I uploaded on Facebook. She and her fellow cronies would like my statuses, every single one, as soon as they came out, as if they set a notification for whenever I would post something, so they could like it within the second I posted it.
Even though I am heading into my senior year of college, these memories still haunt me, both emotionally and physically. Charlotte and these girls screwed up my head so badly, it came to a point where I would cry, even in my senior year of high school, every time I logged into Facebook and had 57 notifications, all from Charlotte going through my profile and being a jerk. Even now, I am afraid and suspicious of my notifications. Many years have passed since I have even heard from these girls and their leader, but it still haunts me to this day. I have someone that follows me on Twitter, who I somewhat know, and we go to the same school, favorites a lot of my tweets and retweets, and I constantly battle with myself trying to convince me this isn't Charlotte and the whole situation again.
When you are bullied on social media, it follows you for life. The memories will haunt you for the rest of your life, turning your childhood into a horror show. As I think to myself on how no one caught on to this problem, I am consoled by the point where I didn't let myself get to the point of self harming or suicide. Every day, you hear about a young person who has killed themselves due to bullying on social media, and it is devastating. Even I had thought about it, but never let myself get down to the point of letting Charlotte and her clique get to me that severely. What no one understands is that once you get bullied on social media, you can forget about it, but it will impact your thinking for the rest of your life.
To the people who have bullied on social media or in person, emotionally or physically, I commend you for staying strong enough to be here right now. You have proven to yourself and this world that there is a reason for you being here, alive, at this very moment. The people who bullied you will forever have that weight on their shoulders, and hopefully karma will get them back. Never let the bullies from social media get you down, because lets be honest. They're typing their insults. How could they possibly be a threat if they can't be a grown up and talk to you if they have an issue?
*Name has been changed.
