Cutting people out of your life. It happens to everyone at some point or another, and it’s a normal part of growing up and becoming a better person. Maybe it’s with someone you’ve been friends with for a few weeks or a few months—maybe it’s with someone you’ve been friends with for years. But at some point, there might come a time when you realize that a person (or maybe more than one person) in your life doesn’t have a place there anymore.
Sometimes, a certain event might take place that sets you off—a situation that helps you realize that somebody either isn’t who you thought they were or just isn’t the same person they were when you first met. There might be a small argument, a more serious fight or a huge blow-out in which you and that person cut all ties immediately and vow to never speak again. Whatever way, regardless of the severity, having a negative falling out with someone is sometimes the easy way to get somebody out of your life. Having a fight is a simple excuse to say “see ya,” and cut somebody out—especially if that person is toxic and negative.
So no, fights aren’t exactly the issue I’m talking about. I’m talking about the friends you know are toxic to you and your life (or who just don’t offer anything to you anymore and add negativity to your life) but who you might seem to get along with just fine. The friends who you hang out with regularly, have group chats with, go on adventures with—the friends who, in theory, should be some of your closest. The most difficult thing is when you realize somebody isn’t good for you but you feel forever trapped in the friendship.
Sometimes, people change. You might wake up one day and realize that one of your friends is a bit rude to you too often, or that one of your friends overreacts and gets mad at you on a regular basis. You might suddenly notice the way one of your friends acts around you compared to the way they act around others—that they seem like they don’t enjoy being around you and get annoyed with you easily. Maybe you get into a fight with someone else and one of your friends takes the other person’s side and not yours without fully being open to understanding your point of view. Whatever the reason, sometimes we just come to the conclusion that we need somebody out of our life. People change—not always for the better—and that can really put things into perspective.
But sometimes we change. Sometimes we grow up and realize who we are and where we want to be, and that maybe the people who have been in our lives for a certain number of chapters aren’t supposed to be written into our future ones. Sometimes it hurts. It hurts to let go of the past, of people who make you feel safe and loved and secure—but sometimes, just like you outgrow clothing and childhood customs, you outgrow people.
So listen to yourself. It sounds cliché, but listen to your head and your heart, and trust your gut instincts. Allow yourself to mature and grow up, and trust yourself if you feel like certain people don’t belong in your life anymore. Things don’t have to end badly—it might just start with a little bit of distance. If you can learn to distance yourself from general negativity and negative people in your life, things will get easier from there and, usually, will fall right into place.
So, if you have to let people go from your life, always remember the friends who were there for you. Think about them—think about the good times you had. But remind yourself why you felt the need to move on from those friendships. Remind yourself that you need to do what’s best for you and your happiness—and it’ll all be okay.
