I have smoked cigarettes for about six years now. I started buying my own packs sometime during my second semester of college. And I have told myself and many others that I planned to quit eventually, but definitely not before I graduated, that would add too much stress. Well now I have graduated and I am slowly kicking the habit.

And it suuuuuuuuuuucks. I tried going cold turkey a couple of times, but I think there's a reason that method so rarely works. It doesn't take much to trigger a craving. Every TV show, book, movie or even video game has a at least one badass and/or evil character who smokes. And I don't think anything else makes a smoker want to smoke than seeing other people smoking. I could go all day without even thinking about a cigarette, but if I turn on the TV and Ghostbusters is on (seriously everyone in that movie is constantly smoking) than I'm going to have to run outside for a smoke of my own.

When you cut back rather than quit altogether, the negative effects also linger much longer. I used to smoke about a pack a day but after a couple months I've gotten down to maybe three individual cigarettes a day, but those three cigarettes destroy me. I used to smoke every hour on the hour. Before and after any even that was going to take at least an hour. After I ate. After other things. It was the capstone. It was a ritual, that is a part of what makes addictions so easy to fall into, except after a while you start using your substance of choice without the ritual in place so now you're using just to use.

Now I only smoke when I have a strong desire to, rather than a craving. Describing a craving as "a monkey on your back" is a decent enough description, but it's also trying to claw its way into your brain, it's not a very chill monkey. But when I just have a base desire to, it's usually because the weather is really nice and I want a stupid excuse to go sit on the smoking bench, or I just had such a fantastic meal I convince myself that the aftertaste mixed with menthol would just really make my night. But that rarely happens anymore, so my lungs are constantly going through this process of healing slightly and then getting obliterated.

Even when I was at my heaviest level of smoking I didn't have the smoker's cough. But I certainly do now. I carry Mucinex and Halls lausenges with me everywhere I go. And wouldn't you know it? The less frequently I smoke, the less coughing occurs. I get sweaty faster, I'm almost always weezing and out of breath. You would almost think that I'm getting worse.But I can feel things gradually getting better. Soon I'll be down to zero cigarettes a day. My lungs will get back to full capacity and hopefully that sweating thing will go away, too.

So to anyone out there who is considering quitting, I say you should do it. Just prepare yourself for how much it is really going to suck.