For most, nightmares come to an end; we wake up, we rejoin reality, and the horror is over. But for others, the nightmare never ends.
In the United States, there are an average of 108,000 rapes reported per year. 1 in 6 U.S. women and 1 in 33 U.S. men has experienced an attempted or completed rape in her or his lifetime, according to the 1998 National Violence Against Women Survey. The number of unreported rapes is predicted to be as high as 300,000, and that number is only increasing as the number of reported rapes decreases, according to the National Institute of Justice. Unfortunately, this is not a result of fewer sexual assaults.
"Exact stats aren't tracked, but there are an estimated 17,000 to 32,000 rape-related pregnancies in the United States each year, according to the National Conference of State Legislatures,"as said by CNN in this article. There is a "biased prototype [in society]...that all pregnant, raped women hate their unborn children," says attorney Shauna Prewitt. Despite this, however, 32% to 50% of rape victims who are impregnated keep their babies. Prewitt is also a rape victim who became pregnant from her assault, and she ultimately chose to keep her daughter. "I was feeling shocked, scared...but I was also having this feeling of some sort of kinship or bond with this life growing inside of me," she said to a CNN interviewer. Prewitt believed good in the form of her child could come from the bad that had hurt her, just like many other impregnated victims of rape; the living nightmare could be conquered by a happy ending. But for a few, this is not the case.
A Recurring Nightmare
There are approximately seven states in the U.S. that do not have laws to protect rape victims from custody fights. What does this mean? It means that sexual assailants in the states of Maryland, Alabama, Mississippi, New Mexico, Wyoming, North Dakota, and even Minnesota have the right to demand custody of the child they conceived with their victim through violence. "[There are] between 5,000 and 16,000 women at risk of falling into this legal limbo every year, depending on where they live and where the attack took place," CNN states. In this twisted reality, victims are often forced by the state government to "share" their children with their attackers; they are required to communicate and cooperate with their rapists. For the women who are hoping to make the most out of their lives post-assault and with their child, this is a very trying and even helpless situation. "It has a really negative effect on women. They're more likely to abuse alcohol; they may not be able to hold a job...All these kinds of issues might arise," Prewitt said to CNN here. "It's more like suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder. And when you have two parents who cannot co-parent...you have a certain situation where one parent's rights have to fall away. In this circumstance, it should be the one who committed the bad act."
In the CNN article, Noemi, a victim who decided to keep her child, was asked what her biggest concern was after finding out she was obligated to share custody of her daughter with her attacker. She replied that she was afraid her child would "get hurt or something bad [would] happen to her" and said, "I can't tell what he will do to my daughter." Noemi's attacker was originally to be charged with first-degree assault but got off on third-degree assault charges from a plea deal. Knowing exactly what the father of her child is capable of makes it a gut-wrenching experience for Noemi to hand her daughter over to him every other weekend for two and a half hours; she's reliving her own worst nightmare on these days.
Fighting Back
Meanwhile, in neighboring states across the country, state laws govern the "no conviction" notion. The idea is that assaulters demanding custody of the children can be blocked from their parental rights when given the presentation of "clear and convincing evidence" -- no conviction of first-degree needed. As discussed by CNN, "A family court judge would rule if the evidence was "clear and convincing" under civil law. For example, this could include witness testimony that the defendant committed rape, as long as the defendant didn't have a solid alibi."
Unfortunately, obtaining the "no conviction" ruling is still hard for victims. The American Medical Association (AMA) announced that sexual violence, and rape in particular, is the most under-reported violent crime. Only 19% of raped victims actually report their rape, and of that 19%, 37% of those cases see a criminal prosecution, and 46% of those cases result in conviction.
To put an end to this, several institutions such as the RVA, or the Rape Victim Advocates, are increasingly promoting that women come forward and report assaults, with a focus on those who are impregnated by their assailants. With more voices willing to tell their stories, there is sure to be an increase in people willing to listen and act on what they hear. The goal is to apply the "no conviction" ruling to all states in the U.S. so that each rape victim who accepts motherhood after their assault has a fair and equal chance to leave the past behind them without interference by their attacker. As one of the few states that does not have laws protecting victims from their attackers' custody demands, Minnesota has a steady influx of RVA representatives spreading the word on the "no conviction" ruling. They hope to have this ruling passed through state government by 2018.
The amount of victims/mothers who are cornered by this injustice is startling. When asked how they will be able to deal with sharing their child with their attacker, most women were at a loss for words, their helplessness evident in their voices and in their eyes. To put their children in the hands of those that had hurt them is a heavy weight on the minds and hearts of these victims, a pain they should never have to endure after what they already went through.
