We like to think that we're all either smooth or suave enough to approach the opposite sex, but deep down we all know that you get nowhere in life without your wingman. A good wingman is hard to find, so you have to cherish that person while you have them. These are the nine types of wingmen you've definitely come across at one point or another!
1. The Embarrassing One
This is the guy that shares the most embarrassing stories of you in hopes of raising your chances with the girl you are trying to impress. This guy will tell her about the time you did six shots of tequila and passed out at the bar because he thinks it will make you look more appealing in her eyes. When you're dealing with the embarrassing type, he's never your go to, he's more of a last resort sort of thing because each and every time he manages to unseal the deal.
2. The Creepy One
You don't realize your friend is the creepy one until something creepy happens and by that point, it's too late. This is the guy that will stare at the chest of the girl you are attempting to court, without a care in the world. When you need a wingman to take care of her friend, the creepy one is most definitely not the guy you want on your team as he will ruin it for you by being so creepy to her friend.
At one point or another, we've all been the creepy one whether we like it or not. I remember when I was the creepy one back in my freshman year. My friend asked me to talk to one of my female friends for him because he was interested, no big deal, I'll talk him up to her. Here's where I became the creepy one; I text Jenny for my friend Albus and say, "Hey do you know Albus?" to which she replies "yes," and I go on to say, "oh well he's been asking about you." Let's just say nothing ever came of those two.
3. The Foreign
The foreign wingman is undoubtedly the worst wingman to go with as they will only steal the girl for themselves. The problem with bringing in a wingman with an accent is that girls love accents and it will not work in your favor. Whether they are from England, South America, or Australia, you enlist their wingman help because they have an accent and you think they'll be able to provide assistance.
I've been on the receiving end of a failed attempt of using a foreigner as a wingman quite a few times. Things always seem to be going well with the girl up until you decide to say, "hey this is my friend Albus" and once she says, "oh my god, do you have an accent!?" you can just walk away because that is now his girl because you're not competing with an accent.
4. The Mute
It's a known fact that girls are into the mysterious and quiet type. I get it, it puts the ball in the guy’s court and brings the girls flocking as if you were the South during winter. It is not okay to go with "the mute" gig when attempting to be a wingman because how can your friend possibly show a girl a good time when you're standing there looking bored and the furthest from enthusiastic.
The whole point of being a wingman is to make your buddy look appealing in his prospective mate's eyes, and that he is indeed an enjoyable person with fun friends who will not hack her with an axe late in the night. If you remove yourself from the conversation and leave your friend hanging when he needs some witty comments, you have failed as a wingman.
5. The One Who's In A Relationship
It's hard to find a good wingman in life. We do constant trial runs with numerous people until we find our wingman, and once you find that wingman you have to hold onto him for dear life. So it's always a pain when your wingman gets in a relationship of his own because now you're limited in when you can use him and also how you can use him. I'll admit it, I'm the best wingman all of my friends, guys or gals, have. So I know when I got in a relationship sometime back, I greatly derailed my friends. I've seen my friends go from hookups and getting numbers on a regular basis with me as their wingman, to severe droughts.
Although you may lose your wingman to his girlfriend, he can still provide great assistance when he does come out and wingman for you because now you get your wingman and his girlfriend in your corner. I believe I currently hold an astonishing 65 percent success rate when wingmanning with my girlfriend for a friend. They've done studies you know. 60 percent of the time, it works every time.
6. The One Who's Making Sure Everything Is Alright
This is the wingwoman we have all experienced at one time or another. She thinks she is wingmanning, but is actually cock blocking. You and the girl you are trying to impress can barely go five minutes without her friend coming over and checking in to make sure everything is alright. Normally, in a situation like this, you would deploy your own wingman to keep her occupied, but it does not always work.
Just as you are about to seal the deal, you can expect her friend to come over and say "it's time for us to go."
7. The Ultimate Wingman
This is the wingman of all wingmen. I'm talking the one that invented the wingman business. The man, the myth, the legend. Everything he says is extremely smooth and flattering. This guy is almost too good where you sometimes have to worry about him taking the girl for himself. When you're bored and want to go out and find a girl, this is the guy you hit up because he will always be down.
Sometimes you may not fully trust his methods or ways, but you always have to believe in him because he's the best there is, and it will work.
8. The Appearance Guy
This is the friend that's there to make sure you not only look good but smell good on a night out. Your outfit will make or break your chances with a girl. Choosing the right outfit is something that not everybody can accomplish, so that is when you bring in your appearance guy. He's there to make sure your hair looks good, your outfit is on point, and to make sure you're smelling nice for the ladies.
If your appearance guy is not making sure you are wearing your best cologne on a night out, then it's time to reconsider your wingmanship.
9. The Plays For Both Sides
This is the guy that's in the wingman business to bring people together not just for hookups, but for a relationship. When you have two parties who are both too shy or nervous to make the first move, you call this guy. He's great at being a wingman for both guys and girls. On any given night you can find him creating love connections for all. You bring this guy in when you find someone you want to spend a lazy Sunday with, but cannot work up the courage to make the first move.
He's the best damn ice breaker there ever was.
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