For those of us with hair that twists and turns and easily tangles, there are days when we just want to throw down our brushes and scream 'I give up!' From the snide comments directed at our pretty spirals, to all the products that never work, trying to manage curly hair is like trying to live with a family member we would never have picked to live with in the first place. Time management skills are a must in the mornings and prioritizing is our middle name (conditioner, leave-in conditioner, then gel; the hair mist is not necessary for today), but that doesn't mean that we want to deal with the morning monster. Hair ties are as essential as water, conditioner is the best thing since sliced bread and combs over brushes is usually the motto (there are rare cases when it's not). Yet, despite all our hard work, there's still some room for whining and sometimes you just need to rant a little.
1. Trying to comb it in the morning.
There's usually enough hair left on the comb to create a wig.
2. Some hairstylists: 'Should I straighten, then cut?'
Um, I think I'll just leave.
3. *In shower and run out of conditioner*
But you still have plenty of shampoo, right?
4. You wanted bangs soooooooo badly in middle school.
Unless you really wanted to stand in the mirror for the entire morning straight ironing the front half of your face, it was kind of a no-go.
5. Random people asking to touch your hair.
Seriously? Would you like it if people just went around asking to touch yours? I spent a lot of time getting it to look like this!
6. Random people just touching your hair without saying anything.
No, just....no.
7. Your hair categorized as 'frizzy.'
It isn't frizzy, it's curly. Calling someone's curls frizzy is the same as calling someone's straight, beautiful locks lanky. It's just not nice. Sorry if volume scares you.
8. You have four choices for a new haircut: a 'fro, an 80's look, an artsy cut, or shave it all off.
Mmm, yes, just what I want to be.
9.Trying to grow curly hair long is like waiting for the bus that never comes.
10. Growing out relaxer and avoiding reflective surfaces.
11. Dying your hair and sacrificing its well-being. Forever.
It can be done, but, just like everyone else, you lose all that awesome length you spent so long getting back. It's like losing your first born. Kind of.
12. Getting asked why you don't straighten your hair.
Why? What's wrong with my hair now?
13. Getting told your hair looks prettier and/or 'nicer' straightened.
You do realize that that's not a compliment, right?
14. Looking at new hair trends and seeing no curls. At all.
I feel like whatever's 'new' is never really 'new.'
15. Wondering why you couldn't have been born with waves, instead of twisty curls.
For those of you blessed with wavy curls, please know that there are many of us who are truly jealous.
16. Silently hating the word 'kinky.'
Everyone else gets really pretty-sounding curl names, like 'Botticelli,' 'wavy,' 'cherub,' etc. What do we get? 'Kinky.' That doesn't even sound pretty. Or, if people are feel really nice, 'corkscrew.'
17. Loudly hating hair products that describe your hair as coarse, dry, or coarse and dry.
18. Getting asked if you got a perm.
Yeah, I totally chose this. Genetics and Mother Nature had nothing to do with it.
19. Sitting in a salon chair for two hours or more,trying to get your hair straightened.
You have to admit, though, you look gorgeous at the end!
20. Not having any really fancy curly hairstyles to turn to for occasions.
Seriously, does no one want to invent new, pretty hairstyles for real curls? Not the kind you make with a curling iron, but natural curls? Ugh!
21. When you break a comb. Again.
22. "Oh, it's hot out? Let me pouf up and make it hotter," says hair.
23. When you complain about your hair and someone asks why you don't just change it.
Wow, like, I haven't thought of that before. Please see 'curly hair problem number eight.'
24. Hair will never fall cutely in face, because your ponytail is way too tight for that nonsense.
25. Triangle hair. Triangle hair.
I'm not even going to put up a picture. Words are enough.
26. On days when you feel fabulous, someone always has to make the 'volume' joke/comment.
I get it, my hair's big. Don't be a jealous jerk and point it out.
27. Breaking up with a really awesome salon.
28. Finding a new hair salon is like trying to find Excalibur, the Holy Grail, Black Beard's treasure, and Betty Crocker's evil twin sister.
29. Bought a new hair accessory, but can't use it because your hair's too thick.
Dang it! I paid so much for this one clip!
30. Learning to love your hair when you've already established a love-hate relationship.
Yeah, sometimes it's a little difficult to love the mess, but hey, it's your mess! And when you do have good hair days, you know you look pretty dang hot.
