In elementary school, I used to bring Indian food for lunch very often, and I would frequently get stares or questions about what I was eating. Perhaps it was my own insecurity, but I quickly started to get embarrassed by the food I would bring. A Nutella sandwich started to sound much better than roti and curry on the side. Kids would say that Indians always “smell like curry,” and one of my coworkers 3 years ago asked why “[my] people talk so loudly on the phone.” Fast forward to a decade later, and we see that ordering a “chai tea latte” has become the new trend. Well, chai and tea mean the same thing.

It also happens that many of the people who are unaware of this meaning and continue to order the drink, also don’t respect people of an Indian background. Please don’t say that you love eating samosas or that Priyanka Chopra is your idol if you also say that “all Indians smell like curry.”

Last summer, I went shopping in an outlet mall with my mom in New Jersey. Most of Jersey is pretty diverse and we don’t have too many problems with discrimination. However, after walking into multiple clothing stores and being ignored by the employees at the front – who greeted other caucasian families – I realized that we were experiencing some level of racism. One of these employees was even wearing a “Namaste in bed” shirt. Now that, is cultural appropriation.

Cultural appropriation is a buzzword that keeps getting thrown around, so maybe it’s time that we take a look at what it really means. The term typically refers to the adoption of a part of a minority group’s culture by the majority, without having much knowledge of the rest of the minority group’s culture. This definition needs to include a certain nuance: unless the individual in the majority group is actively disrespecting someone in the minority, it really isn’t appropriation. Let’s take a look at a few “vague” examples.

Someone wearing a dress from a different culture as her prom dress because she thought it was beautiful is completely valid, especially if she respects other customs and the people of that culture. On the other hand, any non-black person using the “n word” needs to stop doing so. The word was most commonly used as a racial slur during the era of slavery and it certainly shouldn’t be used by anyone anymore, especially if you discriminate against people of color. Listening to and enjoying music by black rappers but then being openly racist is also another form of cultural appropriation.

One of my non-Indian friends wore an Indian headpiece to prom and received an unfair share of criticism for this choice. Although she did eventually apologize for this, I don’t believe she did anything wrong in the first place, given that many of her friends have an Indian background and she wholeheartedly respects the culture. However, I’ve also seen many girls wearing a bindi on their forehead just because it looks “aesthetic,” even if they don’t know where the tradition comes from or respect people of that ethnic background.

We need to realize that there is a difference between cultural appropriation and cultural

appreciation. In a generation of millennials, we should be more than happy to embrace other cultures and make those customs our own, as long as we are making an effort to respect and understand where those cultures come from.