When the leaves start to turn a crunchy brown; when the new-school-year vibes start to settle; when the north wind starts to pick up a little more than it used to, you’ll know. It’s here: Cuffing Season.
For those of you who don’t know what Cuffing Season is (I had some friends think “cuffing” was a new fall fashion trend), here's the definition by Urban Dictionary:
"During the Fall and Winter months people who would normally rather be single or promiscuous find themselves along with the rest of the world desiring to be 'Cuffed' or tied down by a serious relationship. The cold weather and prolonged indoor activity causes singles to become lonely and desperate to be cuffed."
In other words, a single girl’s dream -- and ultimately nightmare. Here is what to expect (and harshly realize) during this glorious season of cuffing.
Okay. It's officially Cuffing Season. You can do this.
Expectation:
Reality:
Going out because, hey, that's where all the guys are and you're hot and you got this. You're even breaking out the stilettos.
Expectation:
Reality:
Thinking boys will flock to you with no problem:
Expectation:
Reality:
Meeting a potential cuffing mate:
Expectation:
Reality:
Seeing said potential cuffing mate chat it up with another girl later:
Expectation:
Reality:
This is harder than we all thought.
When talking to some other boy you deemed worthy enough:
Expectation:
Reality:
When your perpetually single friend cuffs before you do:
Expectation:
Reality:
Going on dates:
Expectation:
Reality:
Cuddling:
Expectation:
Reality:
How you'll be spending your free time:
Expectation:
Reality:
Realizing Cuffing Season is stupid and you don't need no man to get through the fall and winter.
Expectation:
Reality:
When spring rolls around and every couple brought together by Cuffing Season starts to break up:
Expectation:
Reality:
Whether you get cuffed or not, chances are you'll know someone who will; that's the magic of Cuffing Season. Keep on keeping on. We can all get through this together. And to those already in the midst of cuffing, see you in the spring!
