If you are or have been an athlete at some point in your life, and you play on a field, then you've probably played on an artificial turf field at least once. If you've ever played on a turf field before, then you probably understand the horror of the little black rubber that remains inside the artificial grass.
If you've never experienced what I am about to discuss, bless your heart and try to keep it that way. But in case you were curious as to what I am talking about, here are four reasons why satan himself created turf.
1. We never know how, but we always seem to take it home with us.
A few places you may find it at are:
1. Stuck To Your Socks
No matter how many times you wash your socks, the turf does not want to let go. I'm honestly not even sure how it gets inside my shoes, sneaky little bastards.
2. In Your Bed
Nothing like tossing and turning in bed from being uncomfortable then realizing there's a million pieces of turf stuck under your back.
3. In Your Mouth
This one I'm not even sure how to explain...just trust me.
4. Basically Anywhere In Your Belongings
It gets stuck in the carpet, inside your closet, in the bottom of your bags, inside hoodie pockets, in your shoes. Basically, look at something you own and I'm sure there's turf there.
2. It's A Major Distraction At Practice
You know when coach says "take a knee" and wants to have a talk, then you begin to play with the turf sitting in front of you and before you know it coach is yelling at everyone to run a lap for not paying attention...yeah, it's not fun. Not to mention your hands turn black and you're stuck like that for the rest of practice.
3. It Burns Your Feet
Okay the turf itself doesn't actually burn your feet...but the field gets really hot after sitting under the sun all day, so by the time you go out to play, your feet melt.
4. Turf Burns
Whether you do a sweet slide tackle or just simply trip over your own feet, the turf burn is going to hurt the same. It honestly feels like someone set fire to your leg and the pain doesn't stop until it heals. Okay maybe not THAT bad...but still.
All laughs and jokes aside, I'm pretty convinced that turf is the product of the devil. There's no other explanation.
