It's that time of year again where the mall is filling with people on the prowl for deals and concert halls are being sold out. Time Square in Manhattan is nothing short of organized chaos. What do all these things have in common? People. Lots and lots of people.
I have never been a fan of big crowded areas. I get extremely anxious to the point where sometimes I have to close my eyes and fight that scary feeling in the pit of my stomach telling me to throw up or cry.
Some people love the hustle and the bustle of big crowds. They love feeding off of the mob's energy. I, however, keep moving; fast and swift. "Walk like you're on a mission" is something I live by. Don't stop moving until you're in the clear... or open space if you will.
Now I understand this fear would probably belong to those who fall into the category of introverts. However, I would say I am more of an extrovert. I have little to no problem talking to new people. I love working in groups on assignments. I do not mind change. It's just the mangled mess of lots of people that unnerves me. Now I don't believe it's the idea of large groups that scare me. The underlying fear is this; you never know what the person next to you or the person in the back of the room is going to do. Unfortunately, we live in a world full of harmful situations. You see it all over the news; mall shooting, bomb threat, terror attack. All these unfortunate events take place where there are large groups of people gathered. So in the back of my mind I have those news headlines flashing through my memory. Now why do I torture myself?
Well it's very simple really.
People are crazy.
This may sound strange to some people, but I am not the only one who feels this way. There is even a really long word that many can't pronounce to describe it. Enochlophobia. It's categorized in two ways; those who are afraid of crowds and those who are afraid of crowded spaces.
Now on another note, I hate crowds for a few other small reasons. People are dirty. When you're walking with a large crowd and someone sneezes, it's almost always into their hands or into the air and they have little to regard for the people around them. Have you ever been in a crowd and you feel someone's breath on you? It's gross. It's unsettling. It's just not fun. Lastly, we are so wrapped up in what's happening on our phones that we have no idea what's happening in our surroundings. People are looking down and aren't looking where they're walking. Someone can literally walk right into you and almost knock you off your feet and won't even look up to notice. It's worse when you're in large crowds because then it becomes a domino effect of falling into other people and then you get looked at like you're in the wrong. Not only is that annoying but it's embarrassing.
One of the most prominent stereotypes of college kids is that we love to party. Now don't get me wrong; I love me a good party. However, it's when I'm being corralled into a small living room with 200 other people, standing and mushing against everyone that I become very very uncomfortable.
I feel like I'm suffocating or that the walls of the room are just going to fall in on me. However, my irrational fear (which is not so irrational to me but psychologists think otherwise) does not stop me from going out and enjoying my life.
I power through my fear because sitting inside by myself all day is not exactly my idea of a good time.