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This Spring You Should Tame A Crow For A Minion

Let me tell you why you should tame a crow and how to do it!

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This Spring You Should Tame A Crow For A Minion
Petr Kratochvil

So, you’re probably wondering, “Why should I have a pet crow?” Crows are intelligent enough to develop relationships with humans. In fact, they have for thousands of years. That relationship can be mutually satisfying, symbiotic if you will.

Crows are smart

Think, as smart as a seven-year-old. They can count from left to right, use tools to solve problems and understand the passage of time. You want this clever little avian as your ally. They have long memories which they pass to their offspring. If you piss one off, its whole family will swoop and poop on you for a long time. Not joking. We’re talking years. So, how can you harness this intelligence?

Attracting a crow

Crows are territorial, but they pass down their territory to their kin. Think of it as an inheritance. First, you want to make your yard inviting. This means, no dogs, cats, or billowing trash. Crows are finicky and cautious. Make your yard a crow hang-out; put in a bird bath and a nice roost.

Then you need to set up a schedule of feeding. Every morning, put out unsalted peanuts in a feeder. This is a crow's favorite. It needs to be at the same time every day. Soon enough, you’ll be greeted each day by hungry crows.

Now what?

So, now they’re waiting for you and they’re costing you a fortune in peanuts (not to mention you look like a crazy person by bulk bags of peanuts at Costco every week). But, trust me, it’s worth it. I know you’re thinking that by the end of the week you’ll have a crow perched on your shoulder eating peanuts together while watching Netflix.

That’s not ever going to happen. Crows aren’t stupid. It’s stupid to get close to a human. Humans kill things. After months, even years, the crows will become used to your routine. And that’s when the magic will happen.

Crow gifts

The family of crows which calls your yard home will begin waiting for you. They’ll call out to you when you arrive. If you’re feeding them at a park, they may even “escort” your car to a usual parking spot. They’ll recognize only you. They know the difference between people and you’ll become special to the crows.

Most importantly, if you’re a dedicated feeder and friend to the crows, you may begin receiving crow gifts. It’s unusual, but with perseverance, you can cultivate a warm relationship. You can expect bits and baubles such as broken glass, metal pieces, and sometimes even jewelry.

Why is that cool?

It’s cool because it means a crow was out and about doing crow things. Then it saw something shiny… a bottle cap or paper clip swooped down and snatched it. The cool part: it thought of you. That’s friendship. So, with its beak, it carried it all the way back to your house to give you in return for the peanuts.

And even though it may be a bottle cap or shard of glass, it was a gift from a friend and you should cherish it. Because the crow could have been like the chickadee or the blue jay, gobbling up all your feed and leaving you nothing but poop and wasted seeds all over the place. Now you have a little minion swooping the neighborhood looking for shiny things you might like.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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