I am going to start this article off with the little disclaimer that I support none of these methods. I was introduced to this book through a group of guy friends that modeled their social lives off of the book The Game. For those of you who are unfamiliar with this book, let me give you a little background information. The Game was written by journalist Neil Strauss as he made his way through the world of pickup artists. Using the methods of the seduction community, Strauss was able to go from awkward social outcast to someone with the ability to get any girl he wanted using a few simple techniques. Basic summary of the method: be a jerk.

The more I listened to my guy friends discuss their belief in this book, the more passionate about the subject I became. I couldn’t wrap my mind about how there could be an entire community with the mindset of toying with a girl’s mind just to be with her for a night. I couldn’t understand how reverse psychology could play off of a woman’s personal insecurities and allow her to be played like a fiddle. The idea was blatantly offensive to me, but like any good journalist, I had to do my own personal research before forming an opinion on this book.

I am going to be up front in saying that this wasn’t a book I expected to like, but let me tell you, as a woman, I highly recommend all of you girls reading it to get a glimpse into why the dating world is so screwed up now. For those of you who don’t want to read a 500 page book on the art of seduction, let me paraphrase for you. The idea is simple: the idea is to be the guy that every girl wants because he is the guy that the girl believes she can’t have. The book starts out with the idea of developing a confidence that allows you to be the center of any room. You then isolate your “target” by making them feel inferior. According to the book, if a man is able to get a woman to think less of herself because of his comments, she will feel the need to do things for the guys approval. If any of this sounds familiar, that is because it is the dating world now days.

To be honest I loved the theory of the book and decided to try and incorporate it into my own life. I watched out for these things and tried the proven method of the book: not actually caring. Some aspects worked, but I very quickly discovered that having the knowledge of these methods is useless if it means still being vulnerable to them. So I pose this question: why is it that the less people care about us, for some reason that just makes us want their affection more? Do we live in a society so filled with self doubt that the only way we can feel complete is through the acceptance of others? Why is it that the one person who we want most in life is always the person who least appreciates us? This has become a terrible fact of life. But that is also the game.

Spoiler alert for any of you that might be curious about how the book turns out. Long story short is if you play the game you lose yourself. Maybe The Game does present a new way of thinking with some wise saying about how you will always keep the same results if you never change the way you play. But when did relationships become a game? I am not saying that the thought behind these methods doesn't infuriate me, but take a moment and see things from the other side and you may learn a lot. I learned that we are always playing the game. Day by day every move is calculated with some form of meaning behind it. Life has a way of giving you exactly what you need sometimes. But through this all, life and love will always be so much more than a game