Let’s be honest, nothing sets the mood quite like Robert Palmer’s only notable song. Maybe you only know it for its constant presence in a variety of commercials and or its comically dated music video, but, either way, you’ve probably heard this particular catchy tune in one way or another. If you haven’t, you can hear the song here.
I can’t even remember the first time I heard this iconic piece of music — I probably emerged from the womb being able to hum along to the chorus. For some reason, my subconscious has decided that it’s absolutely necessary to keep the lyrics stored away somewhere in the recesses of my mind, all but forgotten until I hear the first note.
What’s so baffling about “Simply Irresistible,” however, is not its inherent catchiness or the '80s era guitar solo – it’s the way the lyrics verge on not making any sense. The English major inside me is always yearning to get to the bottom of it, and, therefore, below are several theories as to what this classic could possibly meaning.
Theory #1 – Robert Palmer fell in love with someone who was just a genuinely great gal.
The first – and most boring – theory is probably the most believable. Almost every single song in the musical tradition is fueled by the power of love, and maybe “Simply Irresistible” is no different. Lyrics like “How can it be permissible? / She compromise my principle, yeah, yeah / That kind of love is mythical / She's anything but typical.” Make it sounds like maybe Robert is just writing a song about finding that special someone. Unless, of course, we look deeper…
Theory #2 – Robert Palmer was seduced by a siren.
Some of the lyrics don’t suggest love at all; they suggest a “mythical” force that is really seducing Robert Palmer against his will. My theory is that this song is really about a siren’s song confusing the singer and making him “compromise his principle.” Some other lyrics suggest the same thing – when he says “She's a craze you'd endorse, she's a powerful force / You're obliged to conform when there's no other course” or when he claims “She's unavoidable, I'm backed against the wall / She gives me feelings like I never felt before / I'm breaking promises, she's breaking every law.” This would also explain the title – the siren’s song is, in fact, “simply irresistible.” However, one lyric may disprove this …
Theory #3 – This woman got plastic surgery and suddenly Robert Palmer thinks she’s super hot.
A part of the repeated chorus is the lyric, “she's so fine, there's no tellin' where the money went,” something that has confused me since the first time hearing this song. Maybe she’s a rogue thief on the run, but it makes no sense in context. My solution? She’s spent her savings on getting some plastic surgery, and now Robert Palmer simply can’t resist her. This would also explain the line “She used to look good to me, but now I find her simply irresistible,” since she has artificially enhanced her features and now looks better than ever in Palmer’s eyes.
Who knows what this song is really about; the important thing is those horrible outfits they wear in the music video, and its permanent place as one of our favorite jams.
