Christmas is a time of joy, right? Nothing creepy at all about this holiday! Full of family and tradition and presents. Halloween is behind us, and all the scary stories and creepiness is too. Some of us, though, love spooky stories all year round. So, for all of you horror buffs trying to get into the holiday spirit, here are five creepy Christmas legends to get you through the season.
1. The Ghost(s) of Christmas Past/Present/Future
Admit it, when you were a kid, these guys totally creeped you out. I’ll be the first to admit that the ghosts in the A Christmas Carol films still creep me out (especially Jacob Marley, jeez). The ghosts are what drive the plot of Charles Dickens’ 1843 novella and its many subsequent films. In the book, and the films, Ebenezer Scrooge is visited by four ghosts: Jacob Marley, who tells him of the other three’s impending arrival, The Ghost of Christmas Past, who shows him happier Christmases of his youth, The Ghost of Christmas Present, who shows him the happy Christmases going on around him and without him (and introduces us to adorable Tiny Tim), and finally, The Ghost of Christmases Yet to Come (or Christmas Future) who shows Scrooge that unless he changes his ways, people will only be happy when he’s gone. Watching a version of this film is a Christmas tradition for many families, and while it did give us the always fun to say expressions “Bah, humbug!” it also gave us nightmares. These ghosts are creepy!
2. Père Fouettard
While some Christmas legends have movies made about them, some get completely ignored. This French story is creepy enough to merit noticing. Père is St. Nicholas’ assistant who leaves lumps of coal for the bad kids while jolly old St. Nick leaves the good kids gifts. So, don’t blame Santa Claus if you get coal for Christmas, blame Père. Another legend claims that he brings a whip with him to spank the children on the Naughty List. The name Père Fouettard translates to “Whipping Father.” (I think we should all be thankful that most Southern parents didn’t know about this guy!)
3. Belsnickle
If you have ever seen "The Office," then chances are you may know who, or what, Belsnickle is. For those who haven’t seen "The Office" or that particular episode, I will explain. Belsnickle is the super creepy German “companion of Saint Nicolas.” Like Père Fouettard, Belsnickle brings with him a switch (I will pause here for flashbacks) to spank the kids on the naughty list. The lore of Belsnickle continues in many Pennsylvania German communities, as well as into Indiana. In modern lore, Belsnickle visits children’s homes a couple weeks before Christmas to scare the children into continuing to behave, he knocks on doors or windows and children are required to answer a question or sing him a song. If they do it correctly, he gives them candy, but if they grab the candy too quick, they get spanked. To paraphrase Dwight Schrute, you know how some people were born to be bad? Well, I was born to hide from Belsnickle. Yikes.
4. Krampus
Krampus, whose photo has been omitted due to the fact that I could not find one that wasn’t incredibly disturbing, is another German “companion of Saint Nicolas.” Krampus is nowhere near as tame as the others on our list though. Nicknamed “The Devil” of Christmas, he is a horned, hairy, anthropomorphic figure with a long tongue. In some Austrian cultures, it is widely debated as to whether he’s actually appropriate for children to be exposed to. Krampus carries chains which he loads down with bells for “dramatic effect,” in addition to a bundle of switches like Belsnickle and Père Fouettard. He also carries a bag which he uses to kidnap naughty children. It’s understandable why some debate if he is appropriate for children!
And the creepiest Christmas legend?
5. Santa Claus
Sure, other countries and cultures have some pretty creepy Christmas legends and characters, but the traditional American figure is pretty creepy too, guys. So much so an increasing number of parents don’t even tell their children about Santa! Let’s just face the facts, holly jolly Saint Nicolas “sees you when you’re sleeping” and he “knows when you’re awake” he “knows when you’ve been bad or good” so “be good, for goodness sake!” A little threatening, isn’t it? (I won’t even get into “you better watch out,” uh, stalker much, Santa?) Not to mention, this guy breaks into your house at night, eats your food, and probably scares your cat. (Remember how rude he was to Rudolph?) And he gets away with it why? Because he leaves you presents.