Now, before I get accused of being a Grinch, let me set something straight: there's nothing wrong with the story of Santa Claus-- as long as it is a story. The story of Kris Kringle is a Christmastime fairytale and I am not suggesting that we scrap it. The problem is, unlike Cinderella, Snow White, or Little Red Riding Hood, this fairytale is not presented as a story, but reality. This is meant to be all fun and games, but have we ever thought about the messages we are sending our children?

1. Christmas is about presents

Don't believe me? Listen to conversations around you and I guarantee one of the first questions you will hear a child being asked is, "What do you want for Christmas?" While it's not wrong to receive presents on Christmas, shouldn't our focus be a little less materialistic?

2. Breaking and entering is fine.

Cindy Lou Who is a prime example. Need a drink of water, come down the stairs, and find someone shoving your tree up the chimney. Oh, it's Santa? Oh, well that's different. Carry on!

3. Don't talk to strangers, unless he's wearing a red suit and has a white beard. Then you are obligated to sit on his lap.

Every other time of the year we promote the "stranger danger" mentality in order to protect our children from adult perversion. Then we get to Christmas and we are shoving our screaming children onto the lap of a total stranger who is wearing a costume that conceals his true identity.

4. "He sees you when you're sleeping" isn't a creepy statement, at all.

This is called "stalking," last time I checked....

5. Do as I say, not as I do.

We tell our children "be honest," but then tell then to hurry up and go to sleep or Santa won't come. Chew on that for a bit (while the parents chew on the big man's cookies).

6. Good behavior is rewarded with presents...

Forget about being a good person, building character, and doing what is right-- kids need material incentives in order to behave.

7. ...But Santa doesn't trust you, so Jingle the elf will be keeping an eye on you from now on.

Next year, Jingle 2.0 will be able to report your thoughts to headquarters.

These are just a few of the problems with the Creeper Claus. Let's re-think this one and then have some realistically based Christmas fun!

Sincerely,
Your friendly neighborhood Scrooge