I’ve been writing poetry since I was in about eighth grade. Even then, words just seemed to come out onto the page for me with no real struggle. The things I wrote about have come easily to me, however much of the subject matter of my writing seemed to have a depressive theme. Either about being sad, alone, or being unable to have or do something just out of my reach. As I studied famous poetry throughout high school and college, I have seen a similar point of view. The likes of Edgar Allen Poe, or even Shakespeare created some very saddening and depressing masterpieces. To compare them to people who I think of as “modern day poets” we can look at rap artists. Very recently, a few of my favorite artists and people who I draw inspiration from, Kid Cudi and Kanye West have been hospitalized for their battles with depression, and their art shows their depression through their lyrics. This got me thinking, are all creators damned to be depressed? Or is our work just damned to be depressing? Is it because of our creative processes? I mean, looking at many artists through the years. An abuse of drinking, drugs, and a mix of many other vices caused them to create some of their greatest work. Are we all chained to creative depression? It’s easy to see how the dark tones can come out on paper. For me personally, my “creative process” lends itself to these feelings. Imagine yourself, alone in a dark room with nothing but a pen, paper, a bit of music, and no one messaging your phone.
Seriously imagine yourself here.
Shuffle on, no lights.
What songs comes on?
How does the pen feel in your hand?
Do you feel your thoughts? Where are they going?
Are they as dark as the room you’re in? Do you think about the world and the way it is falling apart?
How my $100,000 degree might not mean a thing? How it doesn’t matter because it’s all going to go away in the end? How we’re all just pawns in the game of life?
The words fill your mind and come so quickly that you can’t put them down in order? It’s exhausting isn’t it.
This is how I pump out 4 or 5 poems in a night, in isolation. This isolation may cause these depressive themes, but I had questioned it myself. So, I changed up my routine a bit. I wrote half of this next piece in my isolated process, and the other half out and around others in good lighting.
I present, Creative Optimism:
I've never had trouble creating because
To me, I just say what I see
And you may paint or you may draw,
But for me it's the word, ya heard?
But I digress, and I must confess
That there is a struggle- it's name being creative optimism.
Creators have a depression obsession,
Not that we obsess in creating depression
Or depress over our obsessions - though certainly I have that particular session is in my possession
No, my impression is that we create what we see... And recently, the world has felt like one big funeral procession.
So as I sit in a small room, dark as a coffin
I often cannot find a thing bright enough to highlight
In my novella called life.
But there's something there- it's bleak but growing stronger
That leak can soon become a flood light
It's blasting through my door
It's a sunrise of a million colors basking on the shore
It's music, reading, sports and so much more
It's the millions of planets left to explore
It's knowledge we've never known
It's the smile of a child
Of the one you love
It's that day you spent alone
It's your mom and dad
It's that thing you forgot about
That thing you remember
It's the snow caked ground in Mid December
It's the leaves changing in late September
It's your birthday
It's your Valentine
It's your favorite number, mine is nine
Hold on to your thing... It's a sign
Optimism is alive in these dark times