“Self-discovery” is very limiting. I know that may seem like I am very close-minded, but that’s actually not the case at all. I find the idea of searching for yourself to be a bit restricting and can make one feel frustrated. Personally, I feel as though trying to “find” who you are can result in a lot of unnecessary pressure to fit in or as if you aren’t living life the way you should be. That being said, I propose a different outlook on life.
Personally, I live by the words of George Bernard Shaw. Shaw, an Irish playwright and political activist, claimed that “Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.” This is an idea that is really important to me because it’s dangerous to think your life is set to be a certain way and one has to follow every step to get to where they are supposed to be.
So what does that mean? That’s the key; it can mean whatever you want it to. You can do or be anything you want with the philosophy that you begin with a blank canvas and you can decorate it to how you see fit. You can shape your life to be whatever you want it to be. Isn’t that incredible?
To add some background, this quote is incredibly important to me personally. You may choose to “discover” yourself, but I would much rather construct or compose myself through tactics other than thinking about the way I am “supposed” to be. I remember seeing Shaw’s quote years ago on the cover of a notebook (which I purchased of course) and it was my senior quote in my high school yearbook.
So why is that important to me? Well, as a transgender individual, it is extremely comforting to imagine being able to create a life for myself that doesn’t have to follow any sort of predetermined mold. Being born a female but identifying as male is not a journey I feel I discovered I needed. I feel as though I was able to take that mold and form a life I felt much more comfortable in.
My point is that you don’t have to feel as if your life is something to search for. You won’t reach anything of substance that way. Don’t get so hung up on discovering yourself. Think about who you want to be or what you don’t want to be.
Break the mold. Rise from it. Grow from it. Don’t remain trapped in this idea that you are incomplete until you “find” who you are because you never will with that mentality. You will never find a suitable life if you aren’t willing to make one.
