Last week, I wrote an article about a few amazing things in space. In this article, I called space the “final frontier.” This isn’t entirely true. There’s a part of our own planet that we have barely scratched the surface of. That part is our oceans. We have only explored about 5 percent of our oceans, and what we have found is incredible. Well maybe more weird and scary than incredible, but still.
Anglerfish
The males are tiny, pathetic little guys and the females are demon fish straight out of hell. The female anglerfish spends most of her life using the tiny little nightlight attached to her head to lure other fish to their doom.
The male anglerfish spends the majority of his life trying to find the woman of his little fish dreams. Once he finds his (terrifying) fish mate, he starts to bite her. He’s kind of a bad kisser. Unfortunately, this is the part where his lips and organs start to melt and fuse to the female. After a while, the only part left of this sad sap is the gonads, which the female uses to impregnate herself at her convenience. The only part that would make Mr. Anglerfish’s life sadder would be if he wasn’t the only fish in Mrs. Anglerfish’s life, which is probably the case. Female anglerfish can fuse with as many males as they want. So men, next time you complain about your sex life, just be thankful you’re not an anglerfish.
Entire Cities
I’ve lost things like my keys on more than one occasion, but I’ve never lost something as big as a city. A small piece of Alexandria, Egypt, containing Cleopatra’s royal quarters, is underwater. There is also a piece of Havana, Cuba underwater. Scientists have found evidence of a huge urban environment that may have been inhabited by a civilization that predates all known ancient American cultures. Speaking of ancient cultures, pyramids were found off the coast of Yonaguni-Jima, Japan. These pyramids were carved right out bedrock using tools that were previously thought to not been available to the region.
Giant Squid
Do you like giant slimy monsters with tentacles and beaks? No? Do yourself a solid and stop reading. Giant squids are Mother Nature’s way of saying “Stay the hell out of the ocean.” The largest squid that was caught was a 33-foot giant female. This is alarming, because that’s just the largest squid that was caught. These bad boys can grow up to 46 feet.
Octopuses
Yes, the plural is octopuses, not octopi. I’d like to preface this by saying I hate octopuses. They freak me out, and if I see one in real life, I will most definitely cry out of fear. For starters, they are one of the few species that uses tools. Primates use sticks and stones, and octopuses use coconut shells as little purses to carry food and other objects, which I suppose sounds adorable.
They are also way smarter than we give them credit for. A female giant Pacific octopus at the Seattle Aquarium was given a child-proof pill bottle with a snack inside. She opened the bottle in five minutes, which is annoying, because I still can’t open those damn bottles. Fortunately, there is one way where they aren’t so smart. When octopuses get bored, they get really stressed out. When that happens, they eat their arms. Stupid octopus. Everyone knows the best way to cope with stress is to unwind with a five hour Netflix binge.
