Dear Diary,

What a crazy week it’s been. I’m still sort of in shock after what’s happened.

See, I was not ready. Here in our little Liberal Arts bubble, we were really optimistic. People in all of my classes were excited to vote. The projections looked good. After watching the debates, we were sure we knew what the outcome’s going to be. We watched funny videos. We pulled out a bottle of champagne to celebrate.

And then things went in a whole different direction: Donald Trump won. It was getting more and more obvious, but while I was watching the election with my American friends, we were in denial until the last second—actually, we’re probably still in denial. It’s not something that my brain is going to process easily.

I’m not American. I couldn’t vote. I’m not directly affected by the results—or at least some people say I’m not. But that doesn’t mean I can’t be upset, or sad, or angry, or all of that and more.

I have many reasons to care about this election. First, there are people I love living in this country, and some of them belong to minorities that are affected by this. I don’t want my friends and family members to live in fear. I don’t want them to have to hide who they are in order to stay safe. When I came here I felt less afraid to be myself than I was when in my home country, and I don’t want that to change, but sadly, I think it will.

Second, I’m a woman—do I even have to explain this one? Even in 2016 I have to deal with sexism on daily basis, and it’s very frustrating. Seeing this country choose racism, sexism and homophobia over feminism is heartbreaking. I’m not saying Hillary should’ve been elected based solely on the fact that she’s a woman. I’m saying she shouldn’t have lost because of that—and yes, I think her gender played a big part in this.

As I watch families fight over their political choices, I think about my family back home. We are definitely not the biggest supporters of our current government, to say the least—but there's a big difference: here people have a choice and we don’t. So you can imagine my shock when I saw the results of the election and realized that if this is what’s happening here, there’s just no hope for our country's politics.

And as for the relationship between America and my country everyone is trying to yell at me about, I really doubt this result is going to change it for the better. Trump is unpredictable, and so is our president, and I wouldn’t bet on them being best friends forever. And besides, even it was a good thing for my home country, I wouldn’t be able to ignore the fact that a person like that was given this power. It goes against all of my views and beliefs, and so I’m going to be angry, sad, and disappointed together with my local friends. You can’t shut me up or tell me what I’m supposed to feel.

This is a hard time for a lot of people, and I wish I had a way to help them somehow, but I don’t know what to do. At least here, in a Liberal Arts college in upstate New York I’m surrounded by people who share my opinions. We’re trying our best to support each other, and even though it’s been difficult, I’m glad I’ve witnessed this election during my time here.

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