My partner and I are the parents of two adorable and precious fur-babies, and these are some common utterances around our household.
1. "Why couldn't you sleep last night?" "They took turns licking the eyeliner off of my eyes."
2. *Picks up urine-drenched backpack* "I'm so blessed by these wondrous creatures."
3. "What was that sound?" "He's a born killer; don't question his ways."
4. In non sequitur response to anything: "Well, they are the babies."
5. "Where's the baby? He needs snuggles."
6. *Cat struggles in your arms* "He loves me."
7. *Cat does something cute and sweet* "AAWWWHEJUSTNUZZLEDMEANDMADETHESWEETESTLITTLEFACECOMEHEREQUICK!"
8. "What are they doing now?" "Sounds like kitty WWE."
9. When they want too much attention: "Where's mommy? Go see mommy."
10. *Wakes up to find the mangled baby mouse on the bed* "I'm so blessed by these wondrous creatures."
11. *Cat walks on keyboard* "Yes, that's what I meant to write, thank you. I'm sure my professors will appreciate this."
12. *Cat gets stuck somewhere ridiculous* "How did he get in there?!" "He's talented."
13. "Why are they being little freaks right now?" "They're the babies, daddy."
14. *Puts on work shoes with puke inside them* "I'm so done with these wondrous creatures."
15. "I love our little idiots."