Today, with racial issues flooding the media, society is encouraged to not be "colorblind." But what is it like to be "ambiguously brown" in a world that only sees black and white?
First of all, I don't mind being half-Indian and half-white. In fact, I love it. But growing up mixed race warrants an attention unique to any race. I have drafted and re-drafted this many times, but I've found discussing this topic confusing.
I think that alone speaks as a testament to being biracial or multi-racial. I grew up confused about my identity and it's something that I grapple with to this day. I've grown up being called "exotic" and "ambiguously brown." Although these things are meant to be harmless they affected how I viewed my identity for a long time. In order to shed some light on my experience, I've outlined a few things that people who are mixed race face on the day-to-day.
The Questions
I became more conscious about the questions people asked me during my freshman year of college. Meeting tons of new people warranted many questions, that I now have practically rehearsed answers to.
"Where are you from? No, where are you actually from?"
I know you want to think I grew up riding elephants in the sub-continent, or stomping on grapes in the Italian country side, or teaching bomba to Puerto Rican orphans: disappointingly enough, I grew up in the suburbs of Pittsburgh, and so did my brown dad.
"Oh, so you're Indian, like the dot or the feather?"
This one is really great because it manages to stereotype two completely different cultures in one shot. I've also never worn a bindi, nor do I fully understand its cultural significance, so please, enough with this one.
"Can I guess your ethnicity? I bet you're Hispanic."
Oh goody, take a guess what kind of brown I am and then afterwards I'll guess what kind of white Euro-mutt you are! Do I see some Scottish genes?!
The "Other" Box
Ever filled out a "racial identity" section on a standarized form and wondered who the hell has to mark "other?" Hi, hello that's me and my other mixed-race friends. This one never really bothered me until I thought about it. Just because I have two or more different races in me, it automatically puts me into a box (no pun intended) that apparently no one can understand.
The Stereotyping
These are probably the most interesting because people really struggle trying to fit mixed-race people into one stereotype. I've heard phrases like, "Oh so that's your Indian side coming out," if I get a good grade on a test, however that doesn't mean some of my behaviors warrant me being called a "basic white girl." These statements are particuarly problematic because, I'm both. My "Indian-ness" or "white-ness" aren't switches I can turn on and off. Those things don't even really exist; I'm just me.
I wouldn't trade being biracial for anything. I am proud of my roots. And even though they posed challenges for me growing up, I wouldn't be who I am without them. I can put a smile on through the silly questions and weird assumptions knowing that my situation is truly what the American "melting pot" is all about.
