(Quickie disclosure: Only consume alcohol if you are of legal drinking age).

I have to admit I've been out to Greek Row a grand total of 1 time in my life. Very #college, I know. Back in September, I visited my best friend at Washington State University and we went out with all of her friends to a few different frat parties. My world view expanded 3 times that night, sort of like the Grinch's heart but a lot messier. Despite all these new discoveries I made in that one eventful night, I needed some help when writing this article, so I texted my best friend's college group chat (gracefully named Degenerate Drunklings) for tips on how to survive a frat party.

Here's what they had to say:

1) You don't have to belong to a fraternity or sorority to party on Greek Row!

2) Avoid the wine bag at all costs. You've heard of boxed wine, and this is 100% worse. Wine in a plastic bag with a pour spout at the bottom that is passed around at frat parties is not something you want to drink off of. You will get sick.

(See this behavior? This is a no. Hard pass.)

3) Designate a pair of shoes that you have no emotional attachment to as your frat shoes. Those parties are gross, people will step on your feet and spill beer on your shoes and it's not worth ruining your favorite pair. (Side note: for the love of God, don't wear heels)

4) Know your limits. With boys, with alcohol, with drama. Under-doing it is far better than overdoing it.

5) Don’t take open drinks from boys.

6) Don’t take open drinks from anybody.

7) Don’t go inside the frat house, stay at the party outside or downstairs. Boys will try to show you around which seems like a good plan when you’re drunk but, more often then not, they don't have honorable intentions when showing you their super cool bedroom.

8) Keep a group chat with the people you go to the party with, and stay with your group at all costs.

9) Go to different frats houses, don’t just stay at the first one you go to. The point of going to frat parties (if I'm not mistaken) is for the experience, so experience as much as you can in different places!

(GO COUGS)

10) You’re going to get very sweaty. All the deodorant in the world won't save you, although I would still recommend using it.

11) Don’t wear any clothes you absolutely adore, because there’s the very real possibility you may get vomited on.

12) Realize that if you bring a jacket, you are either going to have to wear it or hold it the whole night, that is, if you don't lose it first.

13) Don’t fall in love with the first boy you see, keep your options open.

14) Go with people you feel safe with so they can keep you away from creepy boys and get you home safe.

15) If you are so inclined, Google how to play beer pong before you show up at the party so you don’t look like a newbie.

16) Patience is a virtue when dealing with drunkies, keep an eye on your drunk friends and don’t let them compromise themselves. Better for you to have a friend that’s annoyed with you for intervening than to have a friend who regrets a decision you could have helped them avoid making. A good rule of thumb, if they’re drunk and they want to go somewhere alone with a boy, be an asshole friend and don’t let them. They are not in a clear enough state of mind to make a decision like that.

17) Don’t mix alcohol when you know it makes you sick. (Even if you don't know, just avoid mixing alcohol.)

18) Know when a party is "open" so you don’t walk into a frat/sorority exchange. This is where one frat house and one sorority house will have an exclusive party where only members of those houses can attend, so it would most definitely be awkward if you showed up only to be kicked out.

19) Always answer phone calls/texts from the friends you are (or are supposed to be) with.

20) Don’t call boys when you’re drunk, and don't pick up the phone if your mother is calling.

21) Always have someone in your group that stays sober to watch out for people. They are invaluable and should be thanked profusely the day after.

22) A special addition from my friend Cody: don't drink, just stay home, and play checkers.

Honestly, it doesn't sound like a half-bad plan to me.

Happy partying :)

Thanks to Abbey, Stacy, Emily, Brie, and Sarah, you're all gems.