The definition for blessing is as follows: A beneficial thing for which one is grateful; something that brings well-being. I can distinctly remember desiring only one thing when I was in the 4th grade: a Generation 4 iPod Touch. Every other 10 year old that I was acquainted with toted them around recess like it was their life support, and I wanted to be just like them. To obtain an iPod touch for Christmas in the 6th grade was my blessing. Exceeding forward to my Freshman year at Manchester, I only desired one thing: an iPhone 5. Even now in some cases, iPhones tend to dominate the cellular device scene. I had recieved my first “smartphone,” a year prior, but I just absolutely had to have the latest and greatest iPhone. Receiving it from my mom on my 15th birthday was my blessing. As I reflect on my youth, I have realized just how selfish my “blessings” were. Even though I had an equivalent object to the ones I desired, I was adamant about having what everyone else had, even though the money wasn't there. I would have been okay with my off-brand devices, but my juvenile mind was not mature enough to understand this. Throughout the course of my life so far, what I consider blessings, or things that I am grateful for have differed tremendously. Referring to the stories of my youth, my blessings were simply based on wants. However, as I grew older, my blessings gradually shifted into needs.
About a week ago, my mom was rushed to the Emergency Room, due to a serious fall. When they did a CT scan to check her out and see if anything serious had happened, they saw that the cancer in her lungs had wrapped around an artery.
She was too weak to go to Houston for Treatment.
She was too weak to go to Houston for treatment.
She was too weak to go to Houston for Treatment.
This is exactly how my mind reacted to the news; I had to keep repeating it in order to fathom it. After a week of staying in the hospital, she was admitted under hospice care. I was so excruciatingly angry; she was so close to making it to MD Anderson. I blamed myself for not getting her there sooner, but I truly had no control. When my dad heard the news, he traveled 750 miles nonstop from Florida (he’s a truck driver,) in order to be there for my family, (Blessing.) My boyfriend Bradley rushed to the hospital in order to comfort us. He ended up staying the night with my mom and I, while we waited for my dad to arrive. We both planned to leave for school from the hospital; I had to leave earlier, but he stayed behind with my mom, (Blessing.) She was not doing that great. She had not eaten anything, and she was basically unresponsive. They had decided to keep her in the hospital long term.When I went home, I was hit by a force that was so potent that it could have demolished an entire city. My mom would never walk through this door again. The thought ran laps around my mind like it was a track star. She would never do this, see this, hear that, say this. My knees were wobbly and I could barely lie down without wincing. I eventually broke out into a low grade fever. I was so cold, I possibly could have cracked if you hit me hard enough. My best friend, Hannah, and her mom offered for me to stay the night so that they could take care of my fever, (Blessing.) The thoughts that were running through my head began to cease. I stayed there for two nights. To them, it may have been just their house, but at that moment, it was a much needed vacation from the chaos around me.
During the second night, I received a call from my dad: she was awake and had just eaten an entire meal, (Blessing.) I felt like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. The intense change in emotion was overwhelming, but nice. The next day, when I walked in to visit her, the first thing that I saw was her picture worthy smile, (Blessing.) She was awake, she was alive, she was responsive, she was Jacquelyn Horner Walters, she was my mom, and she was coming home, (Blessing.)
During this past week I have realized one thing: I have a true family at Manchester, ( Blessing.) My senior year may be unimaginably difficult, but the way my school has treated me has healed a lot of wounds. Whether I was receiving support from a counselor, a teacher or a friend, I would think to myself:
"Wow, of all of the high schools I could have gone to, I'm glad that I was able to grow here for a little while."
I have experienced more blessings during these past few months than I've received in my entire life. At 10 years old, I would have never imagined that seeing my mom smile or even being given a warm dinner to eat would ever be a blessing to me. If I could count every blessing that I've been privileged enough to receive in the past two weeks, I would be counting until this time next year. Every gesture, card, gift, meal, enlightened the stressful life that I live, and I am entirely grateful for it all. In final thought, the greatest advice that I could give to anyone: take the time to count every blessing that you have in front of you, because you never know when your blessings will change.
