I believe several high schools are starting back to school this week, to which I reply, "Wow. Sucks to not be in college right now." (Sorry high schoolers) Yes, we still have at least two more weeks of summer (not to mention we got out like a month before they did). What a gift. Yet I think about my feelings now and back to when I was starting college, and wow these three years have flown by.
I'll probably end up writing another nostalgic article before the year is out, but I am about to start my last year of college, and it is so weird to think how it feels like yesterday when I was getting ready to move into those freshman dorms. Some kids relish the idea of freedom from their parents, getting to join all the things and go to all the parties and wear sweatpants everywhere. Although that last part I actually was excited about and seldom did, 99% of the initiation of the college experience rendered me terrified.
As an only child, super close to her parents, who had never moved and only changed schools once in elementary school, not even for middle and high school like most kids, the idea of being away from home was terrifying. I liked to picture my future, and I couldn't. You could call me a pessimist, but I would try to imagine myself enjoying my classes, or making new friends and hanging out with them, or even surviving the long car ride back home (as ridiculous as it may sound), and I couldn’t.
I feared that was God's way of telling me that I just wasn't destined to live to finish even my first semester of college. (I told you I'm ridiculous, oh me of little faith.) Yet here I am, actually enjoying the college experience. I keep a photo diary of (almost) every day, and I can look back on a photo from one Tuesday in November of my freshman year, or a Thursday in spring of my sophomore year and relive those emotions. But as a freshman, those years were still blank. I had no way of knowing what was to come, and while that may not have been the only cause of me being the shakiest little freshman there ever was, I'm sure it played into it.
I thank God for my roommate/best friend who served as a little piece of home in an environment I struggled to just orient myself in. Nevertheless, I forced myself to do things that were uncomfortable, like going to a campus event with a girl in my dorm that I just met.
I somehow met a group of friends that shared adventures and laughs with me, especially when my roommate went home for the weekend. I found Bible studies that helped me stay rooted in the Word and my faith when I needed to rely on my Sustainer the most. A few buildings with no associated direction soon turned into a mental map of the town, where I could identify all the "important" buildings and businesses.
What I couldn't foresee wasn't all pleasant either. I learned that getting a stomach bug and walking to the student health center ends in them giving you sketchy prescriptions they use for chemo patients.
I learned that riding a bike with less-than-functional brakes can end in getting hit by a car and having a super-sweet stranger carry your bike to the music building so you can explain to your band director after practice that you were late because you got hit by a car on the way (then immediately walk to the sketchy student health center, sorry not sorry). I'd have to put my very first dog down at the end of freshman year. Even with friends, there would be times I'd feel alone and crazy and hopeless.
Even after freshman year under my belt, I still had heartaches to come. I can remember every loved one that passed away while I was in college, and their lives and losses are etched on my heart. My Mom and another loved one would have life-threatening situations, one that took a long period of prayers and miracles, another that resolved quickly but left with daily uncertainty. Some friends started families and moved on, some friends moved away, some friends would transfer or graduate just as I was getting to know them.
Freshman year did not even begin to encompass what was to come in terms of the good either. The residence halls that just didn't seem like home would become a favorite retreat for taking inappropriately long naps, making jokes about and visiting neighbors in pajamas at all hours of the day/night. I wouldn't meet some of my future bridesmaids until sophomore year.
I'd get an adorable, rambunctious little cheagle (Chihuahua / beagle mix) that grew much larger than he should have. I'd go on a day trip to Atlanta with one group, play in a ultimate Frisbee competition in South Carolina (I don't even like sports, how did that happen?)... go to my first professional conference, get to spend a summer hanging out with animals, get my first job, have interesting volunteer experiences, actually get to know professors, and so much more. Some of those loved ones I wasn't sure would make it would still be here today. Some old friendships would fall out of touch, but some would continue to thrive. Yet I couldn't even begin to imagine any of this on the drive to move in freshman year.
Final Tips For Freshman Me / Other Incoming Freshmen:
(Heck, Juniors and Seniors can use this too. I won't stop you.)
- High school friendships don't have to fade away.
- You may not meet some of your best friends until after freshman year.
- You can have a fabulous college experience without attending the first college party.
- When else in your life will you have almost 4 months summer vacation?
- When else will you not have a dress code?
- When else will some of your days not start till around noon?
- There are new friends you haven't even met yet.
- When you think you can't get through a situation, God will get you through.
- Don't feel pressured to do all the things you're not passionate about, but make yourself do things. You'll be thankful for the memories and friendships that result.
- Proofread, pray, and press send/submit. Don't get yourself all worried, just do your best and get it done.
- The situations you dread aren't the end of the world. A lot of the fears won't come to pass, and for the ones that do, there are brighter days ahead.
- Take a deep breath in for four seconds. Hold two. Breathe out six. Things are going to be just fine.
- Take a bunch of pictures along the way.
