At the start of my senior year I walked in on the first day with a very different mindset than I did at the beginning of my freshman year. The feelings I had as a newbie to high school and the feelings I have as a seasoned participant in the public school system are two completely different emotions.
My first day of freshman year, I was anxious. I didn't know what high school would be like, how it'd be different from middle school, or if I'd even survive. As for senior year, I feel at peace and ready to enjoy my last year as a kid. I regret being so worried and concerned about all the wrong aspects of high school during freshman year, so here's a list of things I would tell myself if I could go back in time.
1. Keep writing.
I know you got turned down from your school's literary journal, but that doesn't mean you aren't talented and shouldn't continue writing. It's what helps you breathe after a tough day. Don't let a few criticisms take that away from you.
2. You don't actually like that boy... or that one.
Take your time and don't assume that you have to be with the first boy who throws attention your way. Trust me, you deserve more than the boys who do like you now, anyway.
3. You are worth more than if a boy likes you.
A lot of your friends have started dating and you feel like you are empty or that there must be something wrong with you because no boy likes you, but that's not true. You shine brilliantly all on your own; no boy can add or detract to the light you have inside of you.
4. Love your flaws.
I know how deeply you long for straight hair, perfect teeth, and several inches to your height. But these are the things that make you up and you should be proud of them. They are unique to you and only you and hating them is only going to waste time when you could be content with who you are.
5. Your grades are not your identity.
You used to journal every single grade you received and write about how disappointed you were in yourself and how dumb you thought you were. Numbers don't reflect your kindness, abilities, or interior beauty.
6. People do love you.
For some reason you were under the impression that no one cared for you, but all your life there have been people in your corner rooting for your success. A couple bad days don't cancel that out.
7. Enjoy your days, don't count them.
There used to be a countdown clock on your phone to graduation, 1,460 days and all, but now it's less than 365 days away and you wish you could go back and take time to enjoy your surroundings rather than just trying to get by.
8. You aren't going to grow... physically.
Still the same 4'10 I was when I started, but the next four years will be one of spiritual and emotional growth you just wouldn't expect to happen. I know you don't see the light at the end of the tunnel, but it's coming, just wait.
Overall I think going through hardships has strengthened me and shaped me into the person I am today, which is good. I wish all of you freshmen a very happy and successful four years, and my fellow seniors a very radiant last year in high school.
